My Slapstick drive

" Bonzo, I have packed all the things up in the most subtle way possible. We would start rushing our wagon early at 6 a.m." His '6 a.m' means the hour hand striking at 11 and the second hand at 12. This latter case is also a wish of his co-travelers. " 6 a.m, Buddy?!", I asked to check if he changes it but my childhood dumbo replied me in absolute voice, " I have no problem making it 5". His resolute words bought tears in my mind. " No dude, 6 a.m is perfect". " Be ready!". He got off the line. I was on cloud nine as we were travelling to Jabalpur with due permission. The city of Jabalpur according to 'word of mouth' backing has got all the treasures of nature one seek to avail. My friend Dainik was saying that the city was like Indraprastha. The rivers are like mirrors where one can see the reflection of the sweet girl standing beside him. He further said that the houses are as clean as Mawlynong's and litter is totally absent in there. The irony in his words came when I asked, " When did you visit?". He replied that he never did. This is the latent talent of Indians ' Marketing '. I guess the reason behind Sundar Pichai and many other brothers running American MNCs. Amidst my thoughts, '6 a.m' came to my mind and I slept to wake up to the most slapstick day of mine. It was 4 pm and I was awaiting for MR 6 a.m aka Sarvapulli Gopalamukham Iyengar. I was not surprised by this wait of mine because eight years with someone teaches you a lot about them. It was exactly 4:10 pm when a Black Hyundai vigorously came towards me ignoring the dirty skirmishes of the passers by. It stopped just before my left toe, an inch before it. My heart pumped up even before I sat in the car and there was Savar being insouciant with his shiny goggles on. I got into the car. There was the A.C on and the back seat filled with camping materials. " How was my driving?", he asked. I just wore my seat belt, saying nothing. The drive began . He kept on accelerating and though it seemed dangerous firstly, things settled well and I even begun enjoying it. We kept on discussing about the activities we were going to do in Jabalpur. The conversation was full of suggestions. There were normal suggestions exchanged between us. I suggested many things like Rafting, Swimming , photography, etc while Savar said that there are all types of thalis available in there. He seemed excited about gnawing chicken without his family's knowledge for if he is caught he will be deprived of his 10-acre land property for sure. We were hungry after the one hour drive and there was still a two hours left. We stopped at a Dhaba in a place called 'Pagalrahit'. I read the name right. Both of us were just laughing our heart out on seeing the name. The last funniest name I have heard was 'Bhainsa', situated in Telangana. There were two Dhabas in front of us. The boards were too bad and the names were indecipherable. Roads were empty in there and it was completely rural. We entered the dhaba and Sarva asked me to sit saying that he would order the food and winked at me. This wink was for chicken. There were two waiters sleeping and the manager was checking the accounts, I suppose. I looked outside and breathed the fresh air. There was a golden bullock cart that caught my eyes. I glanced at the cart which was designed in the shape of a needle. I took its photo . One of my oldest hobbies or rather habits is Photography. I was zooming the snashot when Sarva called " Mutton or Chicken?". I turned my head with eagerness and made eye contact with the manager. This eye contact started the greatest mishap in my life. The mishap started with the manager shouting " Wake up hobos. 25000 is sitting in the chair. A confused Sarva looked at me and said " Valuation!". The slept workers suddenly woke up and charged towards me. They got hold of me. " Wait! Wait!Wait! He is not that precious". Saying so, Sarva came towards me and begun tugging the workers. I took the chance and overpowered them. We immediately ran to the car. " Catch him before the cuckoos lay their eggs on our nest". This sentence made our jaws drop. "Who were the cuckoos?!", we thought. The men were after us and Sarva sped up like a mad man. " What was that? Who are you?". I frowned and gave him a thud on his back. " Who are they? I am Bonzo". "All right , then". He was afraid and I could handle that nonsense question then. We were totally confused. I was about to discuss when four cars came before us in V- shape. " Noooooooooooo!!!", We shouted. I was perspiring and the cars were still before us. " What should I do?", asked Sarva. I was never a good decision taker and the cars were a few footsteps away. A reflex tongue shouted " JAI MAATA DI!". He understood my words and broke the cars by accelerating to his best. The cars just got scattered and we felt the worst jerk ever but it was better than facing the cars' people inside. " What is happening? Where did these cars come from? Bullock carts were only there", shouted Sarva. I too was confused and was thinking garbage. We were moving fr the sake of moving and I was busy praying to Almighty when Sarva stopped the wagon. I looked at him and he was looking outside. " Sarva, they must be after us. Speed up". He sat still. I pushed him and saw something which made me question my existence. I rubbed my eyes. On a black wall was pasted:

WANTED

A dangerous patient Raka has broken his cell yesterday. All the people of 'Pagalrahit' are requested to search for him and bring him to Sakha Mental hospital. The reward is rupees 25000.

Thank you!

This formal notice had my photo with a dull expression. " You are in demand, bruh", said Sarva. I ignored him. The person was not me but my mind created doubts for the face was mine in an exact manner. And I was named Bonzo, not Raka. Raka was not my name even in any play. "Sarva, we are gone. There is a misunderstanding in this village". Just then, We saw the same crashed cars behind us. Sarva accelerated angrily and we broke everything that came before us which started with a poor hen. The cars were chasing us in without a halt and Sarva was giving a tough competition. At last, Sarva used his skills and pushed the needle shaped cart with the force of a giant towards the cars and the bamboos in it blocked them completely. We took the chance and made our way to a very narrow road and halted. " You were great , Sarva", I appreciated,panting. " Yes , I enjoyed it". That was his nonsense sarcasm again. We were safe for a few minutes and the car was deteriorated. The road had no houses in it and we felt good. Just then , a body fell from the tree and landed safely breaking the glass of our car. We closed our eyes shouting "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!". " I wont taste non - veg. I won't. I won't", cried Sarva with his closed eyes. I said the same words with my eyes closed too. " You are not Brahmin", he commented. Just then we got two tight slaps that made our eyes open. We saw Raka before us which was not at all interesting but frightening to me. " Dopplegangers! They exist", said Sarva. " Calm down, lads. I am a police officer and I have got video tapes of the unregistered Sakha hospital ran by Baba Kamalchand. He traps villagers into sending mentally ill family members to him and then he kills them with mental shocks only to transport the babies to a mad scientist Hanan. These video tapes are pure evidence. I have called the police department and they will be arriving in minutes". Those words made us jovial that we had indirectly helped a police officer. " So , you are a spy or something?", asked Sarva. " Yes! An undercover. By the way, he looks exactly like me. What are your names?". " He is Sarva and I am Bonzo". Sarva was about to narrate his full name when we heard sirens wailing. " Here, they come!", said Raka. We saw the police vehicles and there was a force sent to raid Sakha hospital. The police officers were nonplussed on seeing two Rakas and Raka explained them everything. " Thank you! Mr Sarva and Bonzo for taking this risk and helping us crack this illegal network. I would make sure that you get bravery awards in this upcoming Independence Day". We both thanked Mr Yogendra Dev, Raka's real name. Though our trip was haunting, we got the best possible surprise. I was happy and proud of both of us. Sarva ended with another illogical question nicely . " Would the Police department pay for my damaged car?". I gave him a slap on his right cheek and the Police officers laughed out loud to it.