Multi-Me

Name: Jason Medley

Age: 34, Height: 5'8"

Medical Observation: DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).

I'm asked to write a self-perception by my psychiatrist to identify the major loopholes in my brain and to get a clear view of my multi-personality disorder.

I'd initialize with shining a light upon the degree of personalities i've witnessed taking over. In accordance to the reports, I possess five different types of personality including the original which are of different age, emotions and thinking. If I go in alphabetical order i'd name them as Jenil, Martin, Raven, Walter and Jason is the host or the real. As far as i'm told, Jenil is the age of 8, Martin is 18, Raven is 24 whereas Walter is 33 and obviously they stay the same. The actual logic behind their age difference is that, their age represents at what moment of my life they where created. Digging more into the depth, each of them had a cause of birth

Person 1: Jenil

I was 8 when my step dad used to keep me inside a black room outside the house which once was a small cabin where my father used to keep old stuff. This wasn't the first time but since he'd been doing this when I was 6 whenever mom left for work.

He would make excuses whenever I informed my mother and later would ask to shut my mouth by intimidating me behind her back. Usually, he kept me locked for 2-4 hours after I get back from school but as the time passed it began to be a day long. It was complete dark with no sign of light inside, and due to isolation I actually started talking to myself. And that's where the first entity was born.

Person 2:

Second on the list is Martin, he is actually the strangest personality amongst all according to the reports. Everyone of us was once a teenager and we are aware that this is where we prepare for what's coming and is also labeled as the most fragile time in our lives. When I entered teenage, I experienced a deja vu that I was walking on a rope and if I lose my balance then I'll directly be surrendered into a deep chasm on the either side. Mother separated from my step dad and I started living with her but soon an unrecognised disease shadowed upon her and she passed away--after then I was on my own, I did a part time job at the Twisties to satisfy my belly and to keep up with the school as I was on my own with nobody neither up or down nor left or right.

The second bad thing to happen until I crossed 17 was my addiction to drugs. Being a high school kid these things were normal amongst us but not for the stated laws, that day is still fresh in the memory when I nasalized the powder for the first time and that was on the christmas night. My friend Martin Becklyst who was a part time drug supplier, poured some cocaine and marijuana on the bonet of his Porche 944 and began making fine white separate lines out of it. I noticed nothing strange about it until he sniffed it through a tube he made out of a shopping bill. He pointed the tube towards me and mimicked the sniffing style. I accepted that without thinking for a hundredth time about its consequences. I sniffed my first line and the surroundings changed into a gummy vision just hallucinations.

The nose began to bleed hard after a couple of lines and shockingly I didn't felt any pain of it. And from that day I was called an addict, because I couldn't resist myself without it anymore further. I might have inhaled nearly 3 to 4 boxes of it back then, much more than my innocent body could handle and in turn I got nothing but the loss of Martin. He was caught in the act by the cops one day while dealing with someone, it was a real time encounter of him before my eyes.

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They wanted to give him an injury shot but it slept from the legs to his chest. Somehow I managed to slip out of their sight in case they catch my back by tracing his customer contacts and criss-crossed from cities to states to continents. This made me anxious and disgusted, during this course of time-- a new entity took birth within my head, and this is the only one I named after a reality. Martin.

Person 3: Raven

Where the teenage went in sniffing the powder--the third, Raven, had a different life ahead. During the excessive travelling from land to sky, my job wasn't stable and had to work at Starbucks or bars everytime I changed my place. I landed in California and was working at a cafe where I met a girl named Cassey Kyd, we got close to each other--especially physically. Not gonna mention much about her because it triggers me too quick. I explained how I got in here and all, she seemed nice, generous and humble but everyone is double faced, isn't it?

I was married within a year I met her, not was a family man yet but we were planning for it. As our marriage progressed she evolved abusive, what we say as--domestic violence. This might seem odd but it's a bitter truth that our society never concerns about. She would stick hot burning spoon and various other props all over my body and when I resist her she'd intimidate me on my past and would inform the police. Once I asked why she does it, she replied it makes her feel good and doesn't really care about me. I had to leave once again to another country but before that I made a plan to erase my entire history. So, I shot dead her in the dark of night and left her corpse and the house abandoned--don't know if anyone would've noticed yet. This trauma build up too large and Raven couldn't stop himself from taking over me.

Person 4: Walter

After a tough and rough 10 years, I stopped this tradition and opened up myself for a stable life, I was optimistic that i'll find it and fortunately did. To check on my luck I auditioned for a movie held at the New Orleans named Safe Haven and was luckily selected amongst 30 other. I accepted it without even comprehending the script of it as it was fireworks inside of me being chosen at the first place. The filming began and was priorly appreciated along with it. The start went well, table reads were smooth and suddenly the production stopped, why? Lights, Camera and Flashback--I regreted on not reading the script. As I went with the flow, realisation rised that it's not me acting but it's me re-acting. For you, the script was coincidently conflicting with some of the phases i've already gone through and the movie was of dark genre. There was a part where they had to film me drinking with the powder alongside which triggered me instantly and the staff was extremely bothered about my off-screen behaviour. Then a scene which broke the lines--where I had to point the gun at the camera but wasn't instructed to shoot, then the flashbacks flooded-- I went the opposite and shot the camera. It was mighty broken and its circuit was vulnerable. The gun was found to be mistakenly ordered a real one by the team and was later taken down, I was grateful that it wasn't pointing at someone. The director believed that he can't find anyone better than me so he considered me to show a psychiatrist and by the time production was kept on hold. During this time, Walter was already up on me. 

I got diagnosed by the psychiatrist about a month ago and that's all I have in my memory. I'm completely empty, I've poured my heart out and this time I went personal too. I hope this much information is capable of helping me out, I'm optimistic.