Behind fake smiles

'You've become so toxic' they said. Tears threatened to fall but she kept them in. She was being broken once again. She smiled sadly as she whispered 'I know' and walked away. And the worst part of walking away was hoping they'll run after you hoping someone would stop you hoping someone will catch you if you fall but they never do. And they never did.

All she ever wanted was love. She wanted to know how does it feel to be wanted by someone. She wanted to experience these things. So she did whatever she could to get what she wanted. Putting a fake smile on her face was not new to her. But she realized very early that people only care when you get hurt. She was thirteen when she first cut herself and went to her mom crying, her family pampered her that day. It felt good to be loved. But then it didn't last long and she hated that. Everyone forgot about her once again. No one asked her whether she was okay or not. Or maybe they couldn't tell the difference between her fake smiles. Nobody knew how she was feeling and she didn't bother telling anyone. People change even if they promise they won't, things go bad even if you tried so hard, She was left alone once again. They didn't notice her misery but they did when it turned into anger and then suddenly she became a villain. Her family left her out in the cold because of her 'behavior' no one asked her why she did what she did. And she finally gave up and dropped the fake smile as a tear ran down her cheek as she whispered to herself 'I can't do this anymore'. Sometimes time doesn't fix everything neither do words. She didn't get tired of loving she got tired of waiting, assuming, and hearing lies. And this time she knew she can't fix herself back. This time she knew her fake smile can't do anything.