Jiah's Mistake

 (1)

......The day was cloudy, so cloudy that it was just unable to say that it was whether early morning or a setting evening...... I was watching the grayish clouds to hover like the kites of thoughts were flying in my mind.....memories were running here and there in my mind like the mouse being chased by a hungry cat......memories were coming in my mind in such a manner which is lexically termed as "self-reflexive".......but such a mysterious thing is our mind........all my thinking, analyzing, and summarizing process took merely 5-6 minutes until it started raining at last and the rain showers started to disturb my thinking......and moreover bus conductor was also approaching us.......so I did not startle when he said- 'ticket'........... I gave 268 for two tickets, one for me and another for vikram......who was sleeping pressing his head in my shoulder......

After paying for the ticket, I looked at him and like every time I had a weird feeling...like deja vu........though he bought this check-shirt some weeks ago... Still, I felt that I saw this many times......but can't recall-when? Or who wore this before??

Vikram has a strange similarity with my brother, chinmay's face..........still......'incest' has its own guilt-pleasure......and I realized this in this three years of my diaspora, with him, from my family, friends, stage play, street plays, jantar mantar, and india gate.......

    (2)

I was only 17 years when my dad passed away in a car accident and he left us with some "would be apple of discord", i.e, property of 97 crores industry, with 4 five star hotels...and many cars..... And all these had to be divided into two parts among me and chinmay.......but you know this patriarchy..........no 50/50...not even 80/20.....but as as a JNU student, at least I could not resist me from protesting against mom and vaiya, I protested wit out jantar mantar or india gate..............and they agreed to give my part of property after that.......and again my life started in delhi again- protested in India gate for "nirvaya massacre", supported anna hazare, and waited for kejriwal ji...and one day my journey of 3 years long ba in english ended......

But it was not an end, rather here everything started....... I was abducted just after the farewell night

    (3)

Vikram is still sleeping, anyone except me will sleep after a 6 hours long interrogation.......yes, we went to shimla police HQ and were interrogated for the 3rd time this year.........same questions, same tone, same answers, and the same interrogator-inspector shekhar poddar-

-"so bikrom, when will you admit your crime?"

-"what crime???"

-"don't you know???"

-"yes iIknow, but you made me mug it up- 'you are a kidnapper, you abducted miss Jiah.........but I will not admit it, I did not kidnap Jiah.........we met in tinder; at first, I thought that it will run at most for three years...but god proved me wrong.....now we are living together for nearly three years........in fact, I am not the one who kidnapped jiah......rather I saved her from them......"

Vikram was going to say something more......but poddar perhaps became bored hearing same things in interrogation and recordings.....he knows that nothing will happen if vikram will not surrender.........so he slapped him and said-"say something new man??? You are such a trained con-man........?? Have you mugged up your statements????? You know one thing........ I have mugged up your statement......in fact, you forced me....." & he slapped again before leaving......     

   (4)

After slapping, poddar came to me to another interrogation room, he was looking frustrated, defeated.....still, some hope was still remaining in his eyes & I hoped this time he should sound little different, and he really sounded well this time.

He sat before me, untightened his tie, and drank water from the glass........and started telling-

-"want to hear a story?"

-"part of interrogation??"

He giggled-"not at all, not at all.......it is beyond interrogation......just think that I am like your dad, and the story has a moral"

I smiled and and say-"proceed...."

"Once upon a time, in the 1970's, some robber robbed a bank. Though it was a failed attempt, it opened a new insight of victim's mind.....you know what special happened in that case?'

I was just waiting for his pause; I told him smiling that-"inspector poddar, sorry to say, I know the story, the hostages helped the captors to fulfill their demands, they actually developed a positive feeling for the captors......but mr.poddar..this is not something like “Stockholm syndrome’[1]”...my case is different....".

He shouted inter “how?how it is different?are not you helping your kidnapper?don’t you have a child with him”......he paused for sometime and then held my hand and told-“see you will not be in any problem and controversy.....let me help you, for god sake.... I knew your dad...... I know your family...what are you doing in kalka? beti, a small freelance journalist's job does not suit you ...we can even send him to jail by the allegation of sexually harassment....even your son is the proof.....”

There was a intolerable silence in the interrogation room, but it was needed.....it was me who broke the silence.......”Inspector poddar, what should you do, in your story, if you found that the bank owner himself gave the contract to rob his own bank....,”. Truly speaking, I have never seen such a rapid change of facial expression in some ones face....poddar was puzzled....because he knew that, it will take his two generation to prove that my own brother was guilty for my abduction..perhaps for property....    

 In spite of being a conman, vikram could not lie it to me after having a passionate intercourse.....because this moment can be compared to the moment before death...when no one lies.....

I did not wait for poddar’s answer. I bade him goodbye, and coming out muttering that- “Meet you in next session of interrogation”........

   (5)

We will reach kalka, any time....vikram is still sleeping......it had an innocence; boyish-innocence.....it has innocence of my child ........does demon sleep like this?...or it is something fully different from stockholm syndrome........don’t know......just don’t know....................

The sky had become reddened with dense cloud again......it seemed to me that those clouds were so dense that it will never allow me to feel the sunshine again.....perhaps, this was what people called- “dilemma”

 

[1] Stockholm syndrome: feeling positively for own abductor or captor.....almost in 8% kidnapping cases victims suffer this....it is “contested illness” due to doubt about the legitimacy of the condition.....cases of Mary mcelroy, Natasha Campush, Patty Hearst are the famous cases of this syndrome.