Doubts

"No doubts about it", my taxi driver said over a call. 

Doubts. I wondered how this word never came in front of me in the past few years. Or maybe I just paid attention to it now. I sighed and looked out of the window of the car. It was night, and colourful lights ran past the car.

Doubts. I realized that recently, I was getting overwhelmed with some things about the past. And in that taxi, I started reminiscing after so, so long time.

I remembered how we met, on that rainy day under that tree. It had started raining and only one of us had an umbrella. We walked in the rain under one umbrella, and I remembered that I had already seen her once or twice in the neighbourhood, but never dared to ask anything. That time, I decided to ask her out. It turned out well, and after that, I never failed to do anything special for her. I was a man of action and never missed a chance to make her feel loved.

And it was soon after that I started having this doubt that she loved me as much as I loved her. I believe that once you give so much love, you do expect a little more from your lover, or so I did. And you feel bad, because expectations, no matter how little, are not good in love. And that was when things started going wrong. My graduation was nearing its end, and that meant I would be going abroad for my master's soon. 

"It would be 2 years", I told her.

"That's fine. And when you come back, I will give you a big hug", she said and hugged me.

The doubt was ever-increasing in intensity. The nights were filled with tears. The idea that the one you gave all your love to may not love you the same way hurt me. I had always been a romantic guy and had always felt that love was magical. But, did she feel the same way? Did she feel that the love we shared was special?

She started noticing that my behaviour was different. She could sense that there was something I was not telling her. So I gathered up the courage and asked her, "Do you love me? I have been having this doubt lately if you love me so much as I love you. Please tell me"

I knew that this might hurt her, but didn't know that it would hurt her so much that she would go away, just like that. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, and she went away. 

I didn't see her after that. She didn't come even to see me off at the airport. For the next two years, I tried to keep myself busy with my master's. I got myself engrossed in my studies. But she was always there, at the back of my mind. And sometimes, at night, I would think of her, and cry.

I looked out of the window of my taxi and realized that my home was nearing. I paid the driver, the taxi stopped, and I got out.

And there she was, standing at the gate. Tears streamed down our eyes like beads of emotions, and I ran to her, and she ran to me, and we hugged.

"My dear love, please forgive me for doubting you", I said.

"No love, forgive me for letting you feel like that. You always gave me so much love and so much happiness, and I didn't return it enough. Please forgive me"