Deja Vu

Syed and Gayatri didn’t mean to fall in love. But love happens when you least expect it. It creeps up suddenly. When someone needs attention, care, conversation, laughter and maybe even intimacy. Love doesn’t look at logic, or at backgrounds and least of all religion.

Gayatri was from a very conservative South Indian family that went to a temple every Saturday. Syed brought goats for his family every Eid. That said it all. Their paths would never have crossed if it hadn’t been for that fateful day. That day when he walked into the coffee shop. Gayatri wondered if destiny chose our loved ones for us. Did we have any role to play at all?

She looked at her watch. Syed was late. They met every Thursday at five pm to catch up. Their conversation lasted for hours. Sometimes at the café, sometimes in his car, sometimes in places that she could never tell her friends about. They would never understand. And yet Syed made her happy.

Suddenly her phone beeped. He had sent a message. “on my way. Have something important to tell you.”

Gayatri stared at it and realized. She had knots in her stomach. Thoughts flooded her mind. What did he want to tell her? At this time of the hour.

Gayatri knew that Syed belonged to a religious-fanatic family of sorts. His cousin brothers looked like the people. Who gets randomly selected for a check on the airport? Even though Gayatri never judged anybody on the basis of; how they look. But their ways were way to strange. To not be mocked. Syed once told me. Most people in their family are normal beside his cousin. They are one of those who think of Jihad. Which probably is so religious revolution.

Even Syed didn’t like his cousins who gets touchy over the matter of religion.

Gayatri in her thought. Kept imagining the worst and best possibility of her meeting Syed’s family. She even imagined one scenario. Where Syed’s parents asked her to convert her religion. If she wants to be with Syed. All the Bollywood movies she loved growing up were the partly reason for her anxiety. 

A lot of time passed by like this. But Syed didn’t come.

Gayatri’s phone rang again. It was Syed calling.

He said” Change of plans, can we meet tomorrow at the same time. 

Gayatri said yes….with a crestfallen face. She walked out of the café dragging her feet. She was clearly upset. Syed had built up this tension. And now he is not coming. What’s up with that? She even called Syed names in her mind.

Gayatri’s mind was not at ease still. The same imagination kept popping through her mind. She finally arrived at her apartment driving her newly bought car. She just entered the apartment. Locking the door her way in in a few moments she shut off all the light. And slumped into her queen-sized bed. She was not sleepy. But, she needed something to lean on. 

Why Syed had canceled the program. It was enough to make Gayatri anxiety-ridden. She didn’t have a wink of sleep that night. Still same imagination kept looming through her mind.

The next morning was no fun. She had big dark circles under her eyes and a wet pillow. She didn’t realize that all of her weird imagination. Some of them were making her sad enough that she was crying while laying in the bed. She probably scaled every nook and crack or the mold on the ceiling of her bedroom. Because that what she did all night. First anxiety now insomnia. That’s defiantly was not a good morning. Still.

She took a shower when she finally got up from her bed. Picked a fancy dress from the closet and was ready for office. When she actually looked at the mirror. She saw her face thinner than usual. And those big dark circle and bit swollen eyes. Made her look kind of like a junky.

Her jaw dropped when she noticed all that. And spent a huge amount of time on makeup before going to the office. Trying to hide those dark circles. While driving her car. Her phone kept ringing. She didn’t pick it up on a whim to get to the office faster. After two calls the phone stopped ringing. When she parked the car. She forgot the phone in the car.

Slumped over her desk. Everything looked so bright. She growls at her assistant. When she was giving her the message that came from the manager. She made a shut it sign with her left hand in the air without even looking. The assistant stopped talking after that and kind of stood there awkwardly waiting for her command. 

She told her assistant to get her some coffee. When she realized her phone was in the car. She also told her to get the phone from the car handing her the keys to the car.

Time at work passed away quick in the hustle and bustle of the colleagues on the office floor. It was 4:30 pm. She packed her things and moved toward her car for her meeting with Syed was at five pm. She didn’t want to be late. She even touched upon her makeup in the office bathroom. Before going out.

She arrived at the café. Syed was not there. She sat and waited as usual. Syed had a habit of being always late. After an hour when Syed didn’t come. She started to get a bit worried.

She opened her phone’s dial list to call Syed up. Finding there were two miss call’s from Syed's sister. She finally remembered the miss calls during her way to the office. Why didn’t she called her back?

She realizes her assistant must have opened the phone lock and swiped away the notification. It was quite unusual for her to do that. That's why she didn’t notice it all day.

Finally calling Syed's sister Rukhsar on her phone.

She picked up quick. Her voice was heavy in response. She said that Syed had been in an accident in the morning. During his jog. He was hit by a car.

Gayatri froze over. Her cell phone dropped from her hand. She was stunned at the sudden news. She panicked and run through the door 

She crossed the highest speed. She ever drove. She was at the hospital in seven minutes.

She ran through the emergency ward to minor OT to the ICU.

There was Syed’s whole family even his Jihadi cousins. Her feet stopped for a second. She was genuinely scared. This would be the first time his family will meet Gayatri except for his sister. Who was already Gayatri's friend.

She bit on her lips. She blinked hard to collect her courage and walked in. Rukhsar saw Gayatri and came running towards her.

She was crying. Seeing Rukhsar cry Gayatri couldn’t help herself. And red eyes were now teary and wet. Suddenly Syed’s family saw the strange girl walked in. And there daughter crying while hugging her.

But this time Syed was the main concern. So they didn’t think too much of it.

When Rukhsar finally calmed down.

Rukhsar told her. About Syed condition. He had puncher lunges with his own broken ribs. Broken hand and fracture in thigh and liver trauma. Which was because of the edge of the car that hit him.

And Syed needed a liver transplant. Not the whole liver. Just the piece of liver. When Gayatri asked isn’t someone from the family who can help.

Rukhsar first hesitated then told Gayatri. That actually Syed was the son of his father’s elder brother. Whose family died in the bus accident. When Syed was four. Ever since then he stayed with them. And there was no blood match.

Something came to her mind. When she had asked Syed to fill up a scrapbook for her. Which was really corny stuff to do. But Syed filled every detail. Because all this corny stuff made Gayatri happy.

There was a blank in the scrapbook. Where You have to write your blood group. It was AB+ which is pretty rare. And turns out Gayatri had the same blood group.

All the info she needed was enough for her to give her own piece of liver to save her love. 

She ran through the doctor’s lounge. While holding Rukhsar‘s when Gayatri suggested to the doctor to give her own piece of liver for Syed. Rukhsar was dumbfounded.

The doctor explained the risk. Also told her that she could die herself on the table. During the procedures.

But it was so little to rattle Gayatri’s resolve. If there was any shot to save Syed. She wanted to take it. She signed the NOC and did some tests as the doctor suggested.

Rukhsar was there crying. Hugging Gayatri thanking her from the bottom of her heart.

Then Rukhsar went back and informed the family. They were so happy with the help of a strange girl. And finally, she also told them that Gayatri is Syed’d girlfriend and is a Hindu.

Syed’s cousin showed some resentment. But, Syed glared at them and told them to get out.

This time they were not thinking. Why a Hindu girl is their son’s girlfriend or why she was doing that. They were just grateful.

By the night, s e was getting prepared for the procedure. The doctor once again explained the risk.

While they were explaining. Syed’s mom came in and hugged Gayatri. She kissed her forehead.

Syed’s father was outside looking through the window. When Gayatri spotted him. He came in and patted Gayatri’s head with almighty’s blessings.

It was Gayatri’s first surgery and a major one at that. No matter how brave. She looked like she was terrified. When anesthesia kicked in she was out like a light.

A beautiful dream wonder in her doped up mind. Where Gayatri and Syed were walking through the park near the café while holding hands.

It was weird because Syed was the shy one in the relationship. He never held Gayatri’s hand in public. But It was a pleasant feeling for Gayatri.

They stopped in front of the bench. Where they talked for hours and the beautiful view with the mild air blowing.

Syed lay on the bench. Using Gayatri’s thighs as a pillow. And finally creasing Gayatris neck and pulling her head towards his face.

He said I love you. Gayatri couldn't bear with this sudden boldness that he was showing. Gayatri first gave little pack on his nose and then a deep one on the lips and she melted.

Suddenly a voice woke her up. She was in the hospital bed.

She looked at the nurse who was adjusting her electrolyte drip. Her stomach was itching really badly.

Then Rukhsar came in. Her face was expressionless. She came in and sat near Gayatri holding Gayatri’s hand.

Asked how are you feeling??

Before answering. She asked where are your parents. Rukhsar said they went home.

Gayatri’s eyes got bigger. If they are at home who is watching over Syed.

Rukhsar face contorted and she broke out crying. Saying brother died last night.

Gayatri felt like. She couldn’t breathe. The monitor started beeping. There was extreme pain.

She was hyperventilating. The doctor came in and gave her sedatives. Which calmed her down

When Gayatri woke up. She was informed that Syed went into cardiac-arrest at midnight. Multiple organ failure caused it.

Rukhsar came again to see to Gayatri’s recovery. But they didn’t talk much.

On the second day. Gayatri’s assistant came to see her in the hospital.

She had Gayatri’s phone. Which, She had left back in the cafe.

Gayatri took the phone. Then she noticed the crack on the screen. Remembered the talk with Rukhsar on the unfortunate day.

When it was evening Gayatri looked through the phone. Which was charged by now and found an unread email. Which was sent by Syed.

Turns out missed called notification was not the only one that her assistant had swiped.

She was looking at the notification for a few minutes then she opened. The email that Syed had sent him. The night before his accident.

“Dear Gayatri.

I talked to my family about you. They are against it. I have tried everything. But they don’t understand. They won't understand how good you are for me. It hurts me to my core that they won’t accept us.

And sadly I can’t leave my family. They have done so much for me. I am not actually their son. But they make me feel like their own.

I love you a lot. But I also can’t leave my family and pay the price for my selfishness.

That’s the reason. I reason I didn’t come today. I felt like a coward. Because I couldn’t tell you while looking at your face.

You have no idea how sorry I am. I know I don’t deserve you. Your kindness and love. Please forgive me 

Forever yours

Syed”

Gayatri was crying again. She had mixed feelings. She left the hospital the next day.

It has been a year since then. Now every time Gayatri thinks about love. She opens ups the same email and reads it over and over again. And remind her-self. How much painful. Love can really be.

The end