COVID: Revenge Of The Love Jihad

March 13, 2020

Rome: WHO Headquarters

The President of WHO in a press conference declared that COVID-19 had become a pandemic.

It was in November in Wuhan, a technology cum industrial hub, a doctor was examining a patient who complained of fever-like symptoms. He suggested blood tests as the symptoms were more than that of fever. The pathologist who was doing the blood test was shocked as he had never seen such a blood sample. Later he buzzed the doctor in WeChat. Soon their group was excitedly discussing the blood test results of the patient. The Intelligence officer who was tracking the WeChat group noted the unusual buzz in their discussion. That night the doctor and the pathologists were picked up from their homes and whisked away to the intelligence headquarters. That was the last one heard about them. The others in the group wondered about them, but it was not unusual, and they went about their business.

The Sunday wet market was agog that morning. The long-awaited delicacy, Pangolin meat, had made its arrival. A Chinese business was to leave on Sunday for Europe. During the discussion about lunch the following day, the businessman had batted for Pangolin as he expected its arrival at the market. He enjoyed the lunch and kissed his wife goodbye as he embarked on a two-week-long tour to Italy, UK, France, and Germany. There were many families that day who had bought pangolin meat that fatal Sunday. Bulk orders were sent to the hotel kitchens too.

Wuhan airport was a busy airport and had a direct connection to Italy, Iran, Pakistan, Singapore, and many other countries. There were hundreds of flights landing and taking off. The virus unknown to the world had taken flight to many countries.

By the time the WHO had declared the virus was pandemic, COVID-19 had gone viral. The virus went around the world in eighty days or so. Along with conspiracy theories also went viral. Some said the COVID was a biological weapon that was being developed and went out of control. Some said it was the billionaire Bill, who funded secret research, and the virus broke the gates and went out. A French Noble Prize winner speculated that indeed the virus got developed in a lab. But some others downvoted the speculative theory. There was some broad agreement that the virus originated from the bat and mutated when it infected the pangolin. Thus, it became capable of infecting humans too. The naturalist and conservationist pronounced that the human was indeed the virus. Too much tinkering with nature had upset the balance in life. Social media shared many pictures that indicated that this theory as plausible as nature seemed to take over as humans went under lockdowns. NASA captured satellite imageries that showed air pollution had subsided in many parts of the world. People developed a distant vision. People reported that they saw the Himalayas from Jalandhar. Social media was agog with people claiming they could see Canada from Punjab. Eiffel Tower could be also be seen from Rome, as some others claimed.

In terms of controlling the virus, nobody had any clue. Some talked of herd immunity like Sweden, who did not go all out for the lockdown model. India amazed the world when its strong man announced a nation-wide lockdown with a four- hour notice. One theory said that people who lived in areas with malarial infestation had some immunity. The anti-malarial chloroquine saw a massive spike in demand. India became the world leader as it had sufficient stock of this anti-malarial. It was a matter of weeks before USFDA said that this anti-malarial proved to be a dud against COVID-19. The US President trumped that disinfectants like Lysol could get ingested. Some Newyorkers followed suit and fell sick. In India, not to be left behind, some people consumed the cow urine and fell ill. Some in India felt the Kaliyug had begun, and the Kalki Avatar has come in the form of the current PM to rescue the world itself.

The world fell to its knees, and the mighty arsenals were no defense against the little virus. What will the world be like post-Corona, speculated the scientists and the futurologists? Without being in Rome, people did what did the Romans did. They locked themselves down.

It was at this time one evening post-dinner I had declared to my wife and daughter I was perhaps the only one who knew why COVID-19 happened. They got a bit curious and wondered whether it was the effect of the occasional drink I had. I said that I could count clearly up to a hundred and backward, too, and went on to narrate the story.

It was a couple of years back I was traveling around Rajasthan on work doing a study related to herbal markets. During the study, I moved to towns and nearby villages to understand the supply chain. It was such a time I had stayed back in a dak bungalow for a night. There wasn’t a better place close to Bhilwara town as it is known today, and the local who accompanied me said he knew the caretaker, and he would arrange dinner and stay for the night. There was not much to think about, and at the end of a tiring day, I had nothing but to say yes. It was around 7 pm we reached the place, and the caretaker Mansinghji, who must have been in the late sixties, quickly ushered me into my spacious room dusted and quite clean. To his offer of tea, I said yes, and soon enough tea and biscuits got served. Mansingh told me that he would make ready dinner within one hour and would consist of rotis (Indian bread) and a vegetable curry. I refreshed myself and relaxed a bit, and soon enough, it was dinner time. I got served some hot rotis, and the vegetable curry went quite well. I sat and lit a cigarette and offered Mansingh also one.

Then he began telling me a story of the Princess, Meghna, who belonged to the Rajput clan. The Princess lived in a palace at the far end of the town now, of course dilapidated. As all Princess go by, she was beautiful, but it seems she had a rebellious streak in her. By a stroke of fatal luck, she met a handsome youth one day at the bazaar. It was love at first sight as always described in classic literature be it Tamil, Sanskrit, or English. The youth followed her to the palace discreetly as she was surrounded by guards. It was then the youth realized that she was a princess and he could get into trouble. He hid in the garden, and soon enough, the Princess had reached her room on the first floor and opened the palace window. He signaled to her that he would come and meet her in the night. Princess wondered how the palace got strictly guarded.

The handsome youth was a Muslim prince by the name Mubarak Khan (Khilji dynasty) who had entered the Rajput territory in disguise to travel across and assess the wealth of the princely state and develop a plan to attach and capture. He was well versed in warfare, and the palace did not pose any challenge to enter. That night he met the Princess in her room and talked till the wee hours in the morning.

Unfortunately, the spies of Rajput Kingdom were on his track, and they also had a witch accompanying them for good measure, who by her spells could see things beyond the humans. That night near an inn, they rested. The witch did a spell in the moonlight, and she could see the Princess with the youth in the palace. The spies caught Mubarak red-handed as he was in a deep embrace with the Princess. When they stopped for morning ablutions, Mubarak gave them the slip and escaped. The witch predicted he would come again.

The Princess knew he had escaped but could not forget him. She stood by the palace window, tall and still, gazing absently at the blurred distance. She had two choices: both unattractive, out of which, she would have to make a decision. She had decided that it would be a marriage with him or die. Marriage would be out of the question as if Mubarak got caught again, she knew it would be death for him.

As the witch had predicted, Mubarak came. Yet again, the midnight spell had revealed to the witch his whereabouts. This time the soldiers caught them when they had just finished making love, blasphemy, it became. The king got furious and pronounced death for both of them by beheading. Love jihad got started then. That night the witch came and met Meghna and Mubarak and asked them if they had one last wish. Princess said she wanted to be reborn on earth as a bat. Mubarak said he wanted to be a pangolin. Witch got amused by their request. Unknown to the witches and anyone, the young couple had taken a vow to seek revenge on humanity.

Later, when the witch did her spell to appease the spirit of the two beheaded humans, she knew she had made a big blunder.

Rest, as they say, became history.