Children Need To Be Accepted

The child can sense your feelings for him even when you don't say. It is enough for the child to make him understand what you feel for him when you show criticism for each and every thing he does. Some mothers are more anxious to know the marks and achievements of the other students in the class. I have been working as the school Principal and come across mothers who climb over the teacher's shoulder to peep into the marks achieved by their child's friend. As if she was the one who took the trouble to pay the fees of that child! 

Once a mother was almost into tears on the school Open Day. Her child had got 91 in maths and his friend had got 95! She was not happy with the 91! But she was threatening her child that had he not lost the 4 marks, had he rechecked the paper then even he would have scored 95!. This sounds ridiculous, but yes, it's the truth today. The parents forget that the person scoring 95 in maths is very week in language. Or maybe doesn't know that the crimson shade of a happy sun can be got from mixing orange, yellow and red. But the parent forgets to appreciate his own child for doing good in language. Forgets to appreciate the beautiful birthday card the child painted for his mother staying awake all night.

Learn to appreciate. Never put your dreams in your child's eyes. When you were small you wanted to be a doctor, but destiny wanted you to be what you are. Allow your child to do what he wants. Learn to appreciate the art, the talent that he has.

Remember you are the source to bring this new living being on earth. You are the supporting Banyan tree. The child is a climber who grows under your shade. It needs your support to develop and grow tall, but it has its own roots and his own identity. Learn to appreciate your child. Help him, guide him to build his own world of name and fame.

Would like to share a small research I tried to do. There was a child who was extremely naughty, always wanted attention and would keep on disturbing the class and irritate the teachers when they were teaching. I called the parent to meet me. The parent didn't come. I tried again the second day, still they didn't turn up. So I made a phone call to find out. The reason I got from the mother was very disturbing and heart touching. She said that my son has said that if ever any complaint comes from my school, you don't come. If you do then I will do something to myself! I was extremely hurt to listen to all this. I was also terrified because incase I call the child and ask him and what if he really takes such a step then the guilt will kill me. But the boy was taking advantage of this. I called his subject teachers to find how he was doing in his studies. They said that he has very neat handwriting. If he would write the answers then he wrote them without any mistakes! So this proved that he was good in studies ( if he wanted to do so) I called him to my office and said that I needed help. I said that I was going through the answer papers and on seeing his papers I saw that his writing was very beautiful. I wanted him to make the library register for me. To make the entry of all the new arrivals into the register and do the numbering. He was taken aback but the appreciation made him so happy that he gladly agreed to do it for me. As expected he was enjoying his work. I thought of staying with him in the library and to help him arrange. I spoke to him and tried to find out what disturbed him. He said that he was interested to join the singing classes but his parents want him to go for engineering. He is not interested in science at all. He is least bothered about theorems and Newton or angles or any scientific chemical reactions. The parents wanted him to go for engineering because his uncle's children were successful engineers. 

The whole Story was clear. I called the parent and councelled them to send him for the music classes. I appreciated the boy during the assembly for doing such a wonderful work for the library. He was wanting to get the appreciation. He wanted to be accepted, Which we as parents, teachers and friends forget to do. When you as a parent want your child to appreciate every little thing done by you then even you have to learn to do so. The children accept their parents as they are. They grow up with their parents' wishes, likes, dislikes then we as parents also have to accept the child with his talent, desires and wishes. Train them, polish them, teach them, protect them but never be overprotective. Keep expectations but don't throb them with your desires. Accept your child and you will find a beautiful jem in them.