A Child Needs Security

Once I was traveling late night and came across a girl in her teens sitting on the bench of a railway platform. She looked to be belonging to a well to do family. It was too late and the platform was lonely too! I was waiting for my train to arrive when there was an announcement that it would be delayed by another 15 mins. Tired of traveling late night I sat beside the girl on the bench. To break the silence I asked her if she was traveling? She just glared at me and shook her head. I looked the other way yet disturbed by her behaviour. She was continuously taking out her phone and anxiously looking at it, as if expecting it to ring any moment. Each time she did so the tension grew stronger on her beautiful face. This was disturbing me a lot. Even I have a teenager daughter at home and could sense the girl was in trouble. I asked her again if I could help her? This time I used a very stern look and forced her to talk to me. I could see her big eyes filled with tears and down rolled a huge drop from them, rolling down her cheeks. She was furiously sobbing and she melted into my warm hug. I could feel her in pain. Running my hands on her back and on her head I took her hand in mine and said: "Don't worry darling you can tell me! Maybe I can help you "The girl shouted out loud: "Nobody loves me!" I left home early morning with my breakfast, I didn't go home for lunch, I have not gone home and there is no one who tried to find out where I was?" 

The train came on the platform, my phone rang. My daughter was on the line. She asked me if I had taken the train or not? She was concerned for me. I told her that I had taken my train and had got my seat and asked her not to worry. 

The girl in the platform was still sobbing and I didn't have the heart to leave her and go away. I got down from the train and sat beside her and consoled her not to stay away from home, as surely her mom would be worried and searching for her. She said," my father has brought a new wife for him." "She is not waiting for me, No one waits for me and no one loves me."

This was her insecurity. She had list her mother and because the father had married again she was left all alone with no one to worry for her. 

Children are crushed if they develop the feeling that their parents don't like them, criticism also affects,and if the child senses that the parents don't have time for them.

The child's best gift is that the parents give them personal time. Play with them, they don't want expensive gifts and toys but more than that they cherish the moment when the father had turned a horse with the child on his back. They remember it forever. I know a student of mine who was pampered by his parents with the latest and most expensive gifts and gadgets for him on his birthdays because bith were working parents and so couldn't be present for him. The boy was as insecure as he could be. He developed the feeling that because his parents were not able to be present so the gifts were the compensation for their guilt. 

I have even seen parents especially fathers who say that I have always seen my child horizontal! Means when the father comes home late night from work the child is sleeping and the child goes to school early morning when the father is sleeping!!. 

The ice walls built around the parents and children can be broken very easily if the family creates rules to work together, to divide responsibilities, to give time to each other and to respect the feelings of being there for each other whenever it is required. One meal together is also a way the family becomes close. It is the best time when the family sits together to discuss all problems and plan all the needs. I feel that the family who prays together and eats together is the best family ever. 

The children need to feel that they are important and are secured under the cozy love of their parents. The children have to be given their importance then only we can save them from being insecure. Take care, spend time and love your children they are born from you but they have their own identity.