Ambre Deval

Drama Romance Inspirational

3  

Ambre Deval

Drama Romance Inspirational

Burning Hearts

Burning Hearts

3 mins
239


December 2nd 2020 You made me feel like a fool, like another tick you had to complete on your checklist, something you had to revise, to see if I'm still hurting, why must I feel extreme bliss or ache when I am around you? Is that love? Does love mean breaking each other to the point you don't know how to be anymore? Who are we? What were we meant to be if we didn't harm each other? The obsession you said you had for me one year ago was nothing, but a stich to your breakup? You said 'or did I just want to get away from maiya?' and that broke me more than I should have allowed it, it seems we both know how to fire bullets at each other.


You said you stopped relying on others, because they just let you down, and it's not their fault, and you set yourself up for disappointment. Besides, you added it's not them you're disappointed in anymore, but yourself. I wanted to congratulate you, instead, I opened my wounds to you, to see if you can add salt on it, "I've realized I'm scared of commitment & don't want my freedom caged nor threaten, so I think I'll do what I'm best at, playing with peeps' hearts/feelings. Maybe it's because of trust issues, or maybe I'm fed up, or simply not giving a fuck anymore." He said "thanks for playing with my feels, it tickled", and I wanted to laugh, because it wasn't true, I loved and love him the most, "you didn't? really?", and like an innocent child, I said "yes", I could never harm you intentionally, my love. Instead of backing away, I kept on peeling off my feelings in front of him, "But I guess I don't want to feel like I felt before, and guess I just want to step on hearts, to make others feel the way I did. Selfish? Revenge needed?


No. I just. Don't know. Felt like it. And I did make a guy feel humiliated and abandoned after I ghosted him, but can't say it made me feel any better, but made me feel like I want to run away. From everything." His cocky side never left him, I guess we were both too prideful to admit our love, "even me". I felt like crumbling, and all I could do was being honest to him "Just another one on the listRight? It's pathetic..". Yet, he questioned the patheticism, and I carried on with my broken heart, "Maybe some hearts are better left alone, burning, because they've only felt fire, and maybe those hearts wouldn't want to feel anything else, than burning, or feeling empty." Why couldn't he say more than "maybe"? I wished to press more by saying "Then why those hearts seem to lighten up more than others? Why others are drawn to that warmth, even if it's toxic? Because humans invented fire, because they love playing with it?", and he finally gave in "Because they find the love they think they deserve."I wanted to resonate with him, to feel as if our hearts were same, "Or those hearts which are alike are only good at burning, breaking each other, because fire it's all they've known." but he turned a cold shoulder to his own emotions, and I loved him still that fiery.


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