Assumptions VS. Connections

All that I want is an open heart on an open road, because I think that our growth expands just right outside each one of our very own comfort-zones. When we are pushed right outside of our limits, we skip over boundaries and we are also confronted with the unknown - We are then able to see things differently, we are able to think more clearly and we are also able to learn.

And it is not just teachers who try to teach us or the preachers who try to lead us... There are lessons all around each and every one of us; In stares with strangers, in lingering goodbyes, in hugs, in sighs and even in forest scenes. However, the most exciting thing of all, is the fact that class is almost always in session and life lessons do not need a time or a date to go under-way. 

I was reminded of this the other day when a complete stranger changed my entire life and I do not even know her name.

I was at my friends' house and her neighbor and her dog seem to be on the back deck often. Yesterday evening, I watched the woman silently staring and glaring at both the yard and also the dog; Sometimes breaking her peace to yell out for the dog to stop barking. She seemed really harsh to me and she even seemed quite mean. I remember feeling sorry for the dog. I also remember wondering if the dog wished that he was on our side of the fence, where a five year old girl would shower him with hugs and devour him with love when my friend has her grandchildren every other weekend.

My friend came outside and she stood beside me and she told her neighbor "Hello" and then she proceeded to ask the neighbor lady how she was doing.

Her answer shocked me as her words sounded like a heavy whisper, a drowning sentence, as if she was searching for a life-raft.

"My mother has cancer", she replied.

She had just found out apparently and she is planning to fly to Chicago to see her next weekend.

Immediately my heart sank as I thought of the heart-wrenching pain that the woman must be in, but then it sank again when I realized that I judged her so poorly, so harshly and so wrong.

So often, we project our own stories onto the lives of other people.

That guy in traffic, who cuts us off is not a good dad who is rushing to pick up his daughter from elementary school... "He is simply an asshole!"

The waitress who was so rude when we changed our order? We think that she is a bitch, but we do not even know that her rent is due as soon as she gets off of work and she does not even have it. We also do not know that her boyfriend broke up with her lastnight and a part of her is dying inside and she is just not sure if she wants to give up and simply quit trying altogether.

And on it goes... An annoying stranger, the loud lady on the bus, your boss, a sibling, a son. These people, each one of them have stories and they all have secrets that we will never even have any idea about. Therefore, we just project our best guess, we fill in the blanks of their lives, we write a quick story and then we believe it ourselves. However, we do not even give that person a chance to read it, critique it and we do not allow that person to help us realize that we create assumptions instead of creating connections when we choose our own answer and we refuse to ask questions. Emotions  are just hints for each one of us go within, to dive deeper and to also see what is actually there, as they can all manifest in many different ways.

Sometimes hurt is rude and sometimes pain is mad and sometimes in a small yard in a city...

heart break even looks mean.