Why Me, Always Me?

The world's been moving, the birds have been flying, everything seems perfect..... but it's not fair.. It shouldn't be.

Everyone keeps saying "you're going to get through this " 

Everyone promises that they will come to be around, but when I call I don't have any friends at all, anymore.That is what I really do miss, how will I ever get through this???

What if the only way not to feel bad is to stop feeling forever?

Will you let me feel the pain, all alone? Are you looking only for the gain?

I have this theory that you're lonely too?Is that possible, maybe you cry when none is seeing you?

Who knows anymore? Maybe after I am gone, The walls will come down. Somone will find the lyrics to my song.

But for now its not fair, I am going and lonely and there's nobody.

Everybody wants to talk, nobody wants to do anything.

And I continue to feel lost,I need a direction, any direction... I hope I see it.

One thing, just one thing needs to go right for me to see the stars shine bright.

A kindred spirit, a bringing everyone together, a safe space is all that I am looking for..

I am looking for a purpose.

But please don't put me in spotlight, I don't need any therapy to be happy.

I need someone to be my rock..who will allow myself to dream, to be me JUST ME.

I want to breathe, breathe easy. I am not scared of heights but this one scares me.

What if I lose control, What if I spill the beans if I tell the truth. 

A voice inside says " yes yes, be terrified".

I keep finding stones tied to my feet.

I can't feel my arms,how do I find a strong hold.

The feeling is back...I am on top of the cliff, yes I scaled it...but what next.How many circles must I take before I find my way home?

Will I be ever content? I look now for a way down,

I am not terrified I don't need any strong hold. I believe I'll survive.

The world's been moving, the birds have been flying, everything seems perfect..... but its not fair..

It shouldn't be. Because there is no Me.