What Makes a Woman

She was born on a sunny day 

Little and beautiful in her father's arms 

Eyes like no other and a blessing from God 

She, like every other woman, was born a queen 

Years go by and she becomes a young girl, 

Her mother teaches her what it means to be a woman 

She is taught to be a good daughter 

Taught to be a good sister 

Taught to be a good wife 

The girl dutifully listens to her parents and the adults around her 

And has she grows she wonders, when they would teach her what to be to herself. 

A girl becomes a lady 

A joy to her parents 

A kind sister to her siblings 

And eventually, she becomes a good wife to her husband 

Her husband tells her he was taught to be the head of the house 

To provide for the family 

He never tells her that he was taught to see his wife as beneath him 

But the lady now a woman notices, 

She sees it in the way he comes home late 

She sees it in the way he yells at her 

She sees it in the way he raises his hands against her 

She sees it all, but what can she do 

She was thought to be a good wife, nobody thought her how to be something to herself 

So she endures, she continues to be a good sister, the perfect daughter, the patient and forgiving wife, all with a smile on her face 

It happens like a dream, her husband leaves and doesn't come back,

 surely he would? He might beat her but she forgives him so he would? She's been a good wife, 

he might have flings but she was taught to hold her marriage together so She forgives him, she's been a good wife.

 He might hurt her but she was taught to be patient, she's been a good wife. 

But he doesn't come back, and now she's alone, now she doesn't have her own strength, she did all she was taught, she was the perfect woman, how could she end up like this? 

She steps into her parents house, bag in hand, 

she can't be a good wife anymore, she only knows to be a good daughter, a good sister now, but what if they leave her too? She did all she was told to be a good wife but still? 

Her parents accept her with open arms, hug her and tell her she can still make it work, they tell her the same thing she's been told for years 

"it is a womans job to hold the family together "

But the woman is weak, she wonders if there's something else they should have taught her, like how to have prevented the marks on her skin that refuse to heal 

So she continues to be a good sister, a good daughter, that's all she knows, it's all she has 

She wants to be a good wife, surely she wasn't has good has she could have been if things ended like that

So for the first time she tells her story to another woman, seeking advice on how to be a better wife 

The woman has tears in her eyes when she holds her hands 

You were the best wife, she says 

You did nothing wrong, she chants 

Why did you let him hit you? Why did you stay? Why are you trying to go back to him, she asks 

The woman doesn't even have to think about it before she replies, it's all I know 

So So the woman tells her that it's okay to be a good sister, a good daughter, a good wife, 

But she has to be something to herself too

She tells her that she is a woman 

That she is a queen in her own rights 

Tells her that her body is her kingdom and no man has any right to hurt her 

She tells her that enduring it doesn't make her a good wife 

It only makes her a bad person to herself 

The woman tells her to have dreams outside of being something to everyone else 

Tells her that she's bold brave and beautiful 

That she can be anything she wants to be 

She tells her that her life is her own, 

That she's responsible for herself first of all, for her happiness 

The woman listens, she listens and she cries 

And when she gets back to her father's house 

She sits her parents down and asks

 

Why didn't you teach me to be something to myself too.

Her father's eyes well with tears, 

And her mother cries as she tells her 

We only taught you what we were taught.