Wake Up

I need to wake up, break up fear I feel inside

I wrote this with Death's desperate whispers at my side

I often reminisce when times were so much sweeter

Young playful youth, I used to play follow the leader

Those graceful days when chasing others was our main escape,

Escape not being pain but ignorant from the pain we'll face

Sometimes I look and gasp at older photographs

When we could easily smile and wave and laugh

Nappy hair afro, I never cut my hair 

Happy being myself, loved life without a care

I often reminisce when times were so much sweeter 

Young, playful youth, I used to play follow the leader

Little older, odour growing underneath my shoulders

Puberty got me feeling manly, stronger than a soldier

Testosterone I just might take on everybody now

Smart and talented is I, now everybody bow

Confident, arrogant, paired with intelligence, pay attention to chaos,

We're facing consequences for our actions

Never be cocky, you might hear the cocking of a glock crying for you, better start blocking and flocking back to your factions

And attraction to money took my homie's life

Now it feels different, sitting listening to Phife

Attraction to money took my brother's life

Stare at my wrist, stare at the knife, Pain is my wife

I often reminisce when times were so much sweeter 

Young, playful youth, I used to play follow the leader 

Now I'm the leader, expected to be a world beater

Everyone's hopes are riding on me, I'm a sixty seater

I'm no longer saying I'm fine 

I'm tired of living a lie 

I'm happiest offline

Need me? Just call my line

I'll answer if I trust you're real

If I decline, it's a sign

My recent nights have been surreal

I've lost so many I revere

My aspirations, my career

Won't mean nothing, if I'm not here

So I'll be here, away from social media I'll disappear 

I pray that I find happiness

Away I'm at my happiest

The pressure's catching up to me

I need some space to let me breathe