Traumatic Dreams

Traumatic dreams,

Had kept me awake for days,

And no I'm not okay,

I don't even look like I'm fine anyway,

Just stay way, who knows you will play a role in my future traumatic life events,

And then I'll have to suffer the pain of seeing your face in my traumatic dreams again and again,

" Oh there you are! Did you have a good sleep? " , with worry in her eyes my friend asks,

" I'm not sure whether I slept or not because I experienced recurrent flashbacks of those times again, was it in my dream or in my wake? " , I answer as I was getting engulfed by my own confusion,

She hugs me and says " hey, it's gonna be all okay, don't think too much, forget about what I asked and look at what I brought! "

A flower from her garden, which erupted both of us into fits of laughter,

You must be confused as to why a mere flower is funny to us,

It's because last night when I and her were hanging out, I had told her, " I'm so happy that I can eat that flower in front you "

" What are you even saying? Why would you eat my flower for that!? ", she laughs 

After our laughs died down, we ate and talked then she left to her home,

I suddenly got a panic attack, I cried and cried and cried,

Didn't keep the track of time of how long I cried,

Even if I laugh I'm still unhappy but to not to worry her I smile joyously,

Is there even an end to this? I want to go back to normalcy but my mental illness always declines me,

She's my only friend that cherishes me and doesn't degrade me,

I hope her face doesn't show up in my traumatic dreams where all my bullies haunt me.