TOPSY-TORVY

I am not a basic 

alcoholic,

But I am a sheer

dynamic.

I am an upright

teetotaler.

But I am a

Dumbfounded

Down right

County Bar

Keeper.

I am a private taxi

driver,

But I am not an

Innocent-girl-lifter.

I am not at all a

philosopher,

But I am a divine

Elixir,-drinker.

I am not a metro 

millionaire,

But I am an

enriched quality

Saver.

I am not a rustic

Poor,

But often I hold on

A monarchy gear.

I am not at all a

Self-constrainer,

But an open

Cordial mankind-

Lover.

I am not a law and

Order keeper,

But a sound and

Disciplined 

Domestic

Booster 

I am not a Midas-

Follower,

But I am a vampire-

Squeezer.

I am not a

Vulturous procurer,

But a prudent and

Reasonable

Brothel owner.

I am not even a

Erotic poet,

But I am a straight

Forward lover of

Conjugal duet.

I am not a speedy

And fatty Bike

Rider,

But I am a slow

And steady and

Healthy bicycle

Rider.

After all I am not

A mammonish

Biped Spider,

But a material-

Bound

Philanthropic

Perfume

Sprinkler.

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