The End or the Beginning?

Something stuck in my throat

Misty eyes-

                 make seeing difficult

Can't feel-

                 the heaviness in my heart,

                 making feeling

                 impossible

The threat of marriage.

Where to be?

What to do?

Which responsibility to choose?

Expectations or dreams?

One voice in my head yells-

                                    Run, kick, scream and die

                                   End your life.

The other whispers in my heart-

                                  Risk it and survive

                  Achieve your dreams

                  "Live"

                  For yourself.

The first voice yells even louder-

                                  That's rubbish.

                  Just end it.

The second voice whispers even softer-

                                 Careful

                 Don't waste

                 the only life

                 you've got

                 and then regret

Stiff and sullen

I snuggle myself deep

in the dark corners.

Repetitive thoughts

flood my brain.

                               Knowing is not

                               enough to

                                       move on.

My eyes look forward for

             "Help"