Nostalgia
Nostalgia


Blade in hand
I was in my bathroom again
Five minutes ago
Looked at it and I was taken back
Nostalgia
More like a flashback
Nostalgia for me is not just the feeling of missing something
Not just a remembrance of the past
It’s reliving.. the past
Nostalgia
Is a panic attack
It’s a blade to the skin
It’s blood on the floor
It’s tissues in the sink
It’s a locked door
Nostalgia
Is a clenched fist
Is a hand on my mouth
It’s a muffled scream
It’s also a feeling
But not of sentimental
longing for a period of the past
It’s a feeling of walking backward, blindfolded
And falling in the same bottomless pit of despair I once struggled my way out of.
Part two
Of sitting on my bathroom floor with a blade in my hand
Part two is nostalgia too
But of the previous day
Part two is to cover myself red, all over
Leave marks which are warning signs and caution tapes,
Reading “Handle with care”.
They are marks on places that are sensitive.
They are rabbit holes leading YOU into MY nostalgia.
Alice, will you follow me into this wonderland?