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Nightime Musings

Nightime Musings

4 mins
110


I see red all around,

My fingers drenched in red but nobody can smell it.

I weep, I bleed but nobody can see it,

But how could they?

It wasn’t my body which wept or bled,

It was my heart.

I was in agony but I smiled,

I guess that was my only crime.

This fear in me said to keep quiet,

To drown my feelings and make it seem alright.

So every night I pen down these sorrows of mine,

Hoping that you’ll choose me after all this time.


Life was cruel but so was I,

I wasn’t going to give up and let the time fly.

So I choked my emotions so they could die,

Only in the hopes that you’ll never say goodbye.

My heart clenches with pain,

You hurt me without any gain.

I lost so much so I couldn’t lose you,

As you were my world and my universe too.

I kept holding onto you as the time passed,

You kept slipping through my fingers like sand.

So every night I pen down these sorrows of mine,

Hoping that you’ll choose me after all this time.


Life led me to two roads,

Hoping I’ll pick the easier one.

But how could she know?

That her touch made me melt like snow.

One road said to die without ever knowing love,

And the other one said to live in an existence of misery.

But I picked neither cuz I chose you,

But misery followed me after that too.

I closed my eyes and let your love flow through my veins,

And again started liking the rain.

So every night I pen down these sorrows of mine,

Hoping you’ll choose me after all this time.


I came back into your life to make you smile again,

But I never knew that I’ll lose mine along the way.

I was suffocating as my throat started to close up,

Looked at you for help but you didn’t know I needed some.

I chose to pass on my existence that day and die,

But don’t worry my love cuz I’ll live through your eyes.

I’ll be dead and no one would notice,

But I’ll be remembered in your smile, your laughs, and your sighs.

I’ll fade into ashes along the passage of time,

But I’ll live for an eternity as you will finally be mine.

So every night I pen down these sorrows of mine,

Hoping that you’ll choose me after all this time.


I must be brave and strong as now it's time to send you into someone else’s arms,

I slap on a smile and make you feel fine about the disastrous decision you’re about to take.

I whisper everything will be fine as the tears stream down my cheeks,

I knew I wouldn’t be able to get past these peaks.

The feeling of dread in my stomach is the only thing I’ve had inside the whole day,

But I must tell you that I enjoyed a great meal in the most convincing way.

My body shakes as I sob violently on the floor,

But I ask you about your day and talk to you some more.

I fear this time I won’t be able to reel it in,

But the night went by and on fire was my skin.

So every night I pen down these sorrows of mine,

Hoping you’ll choose me after all this time.


I woke up last night in the middle of a nightmare,

And it gave me the worst of my scare.

I felt a betrayal that humiliated me to my core,

But then I remembered it was reality that left me so sore.

I felt so ashamed that I wanted to curl up and cry,

Then I thought how easy it would be if I could just die.

I wept the whole night but couldn’t feel anything,

So I asked for a break from you so I could just sink.

I saw myself sinking in but then caught a glimpse of your tears,

I knew that time that I’ll have to choose you over my fears.

So every night I pen down these thoughts of mine,

Hoping you’ll choose me after all this time.


I stand here and try to feel the warmth of your touch,

But all I feel is the loss I’ve endured.

I smile when I cry cuz I had faith that one day you’ll come to know,

That nobody could love you like I did.

I see myself in the mirror and a mess stares back at me,

I’m damaged goods baby, can’t you see?

I feel so less of myself and know I’m not good enough,

But I just am not sure that is it just me doing all this stuff?

I close my eyes and pray that things do

Get fine,

Cuz every time I pick myself up, things then only get out of line.

So every night I pen down these sorrows of mine,

Hoping you’ll choose me after all this time.


I feel this thing bad in my stomach,

This sinking feeling that I just should run away.

But I can’t tell anything to you,

Cuz to you it’ll all be new.

So I shut my mouth and close my eyes,

Remember the best moments and roll the dice.

I gamble on our fate together,

But it looks like I’ll have to play pretend forever.

But I’ll fight for you till my last breath lasts,

Cuz baby you were the reason that my blood pumped this fast.

So every night I pen down these sorrows of mine,

Hoping you’ll choose me after all this time.

'Cause my love I signed my existence over to you around that time,

When the first time without hesitation I declared you to be mine.



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