My Dear ol' Money

Once I went to an antique store

Told the owner 'found this on the shore

He looked at it and jumped up with delight

Exclaimed the ''What a sight!!!!''

''This is a priceless, old stone''

'Well' I cried 'I'm blown'

So I sold that very gem

Went back home - they looked astonished, all of 'em

To see me go to a shop,

They'd had to plead and scream and shout and hop!

But here I was on the car's right end

Going to the store to spend!!!!

When I went to COSCO that day,

After shopping, I said 'Now I've gotta pay'

So I took out my ''neatest'' bill

The cashier choked down an Avomin pill

But still puked all over my dollar

I snatched him by the collar

'Well, that buck and interest eh ''honey''?'

So he stuffed in my palm a fistful of money

I drove back home - pockets full

Planning to buy a dog and a collar to tug and pull