If Only

If only...

As the year draws the curtains,

As the clock ticks on,

As I write, it fades into past,

If only I can redraw my journey,

As a peasent watches a train from his fields,

If he could have taken a ride,

Maybe the whole life would have been something else.

I repent not, nor regret I have,

Yet as the match girl, who watches the 

Party from the window,

I too often ponder, and in pensive mood,

If only I could change a few things ,

Some happenings, some events,

I could have taken a different decision,

Life would have been a different sketch,

Maybe for better or worse,

But often in retrospect,

I lie in bed, and think,

If only.

Nothing happens without a reason,

Yet some things are controlled by our actions,

Ghosts of people gone,

And the ruins of broken pieces,

Often haunt me, where I go to seek love,

Nothing remains nor anything will survive,

In the turbulence of time and destiny,

No castles or homes we build,

How I long for just one time,

When I could be a child again,

With the warmth of people,

And comfort of a numbed slumber,

If only my past could become my present,

One more time,

Maybe I shall look for a future,

Which in uncertainty lies,

If only I could light a lamp in my darkest moments,

I would see a new dawn ,with elated soul.

Time shall go on,

We will someday be a thought too,

For others to remember,

Maybe they too shall think,

If only they could relive what I did,

Things would have been so different.

Age will catch on,

I too will not recognise the person in the mirror,

But the little child that cries within,

I cannot console,

For if only I could rewind to yesterday,

The moment I live now,

Will be a forerunner,

Ultimately a cycle of self,

Never can we be satisfied,

If only we keep thinking how things could

Have been,

The dawn and dusk will merge,

And night sky shall engulf the light,

For things are meant to be,

If only we can be aware of that,

And in moment, be in rapture,

The magic will not be lost,

Our journey may end, it has to end,

But every milestone mattered,

If only we can realise that,

An anti clockwise of pensive wanderings,

We all, in nostalgia, keep reminiscing,

Till we see beyond the last blue mountain

And where earth meets the sky,

If only, for the long lost horizon.