Days Of My Depression

Stop that screaming that ain’t gonna help.

It was already a haunting horrible skelp.

Just give me some room and time to know myself.

There is no situation I haven’t dealt.

They cannot take the fact that I’m not an ordinary whelp.

My life ain’t crapping on a conveyer belt.

There is no way I could use your help.

Get the heck out of here,

That’s the only way you gonna help yourself.

I had no words because I knew no one is there.

I would try to show my poems to just tell you my fear.

My mind and mouth froze as nothing was clear.

Everyone passed by, but I couldn’t move in that year.

Don’t try your spells on me, it ain’t gonna adhere.

Yeah! I got a resting bitch face because there’s a frozen tear.

You kept talking behind my back cuz you got no balls, my dear.

Hey, guys, you can ditch me, I know I’ve been too sincere.

You knew I chose the wrong solution, but you acted to get me there.

Man! As soon as I was born it’s so clear that this is not my atmosphere.

I had to throw all those fake laughs and smiles.

But my confidence and happiness were away a million miles.

But I don’t know what kept me going in all my styles.

There is a force in me, my people, that would never butt dial.

I’m still figuring out, I got a few more trials.

My thoughts may sound unreal, keep saying that I got no percentile.

I don’t know, I still don’t know how big are all my projectiles.

‘This boy’ never moved a nick, that is just another thing, makes them rile.

Your petty mind would never consider my lifestyle.

No man! I just smile and go away as it would never reconcile.

My face hurts whenever I had to smile against my brain brawn

Now, my turn, oh wait, you are already gone.

I kept waiting for it but never came the dawn.

I had everything right there, but no idea how to act upon.

Before I realized, deep into this shit, I was already drawn.

I yawned back to sleep, thinking when I wake-up all begone.

I woke the next morning, but this nightmare was never gone.

I think my path was just another glossy con.

Days gone, years passed, but these wounds haven’t withdrawn.

When someone asks, I just don’t know what the hell is wrong.

I know I cannot hide from that tragedy,

So, I pretend and close my eyes and that is my remedy.

Because I bug you and you made your life a parody.

You can’t stand a chance, that’s it, it’s just, got tobe.

I talk real shit, you think that’s my weaponry, my fantasy.

Only cause it will be against your crappy legacy.

Your ego just got fed up with me.

Being just another ignorant is your recipe.

Ought to be, but that crap ain’t gonna hit me.

You got no stupid guts to beef with me.

There’s nothing called hope, you put me in a rat-race,

Just a matter of fact, I’m in my own, race.

To remind you that I’m not under your gaze,

Just be yourself, cause that’s not going to slow my pace.

I’m an ace, you better have, the strongest brace,

You won’t find me anymore crying, I won’t leave you a trace.

Before you wake-up, I’ll be long gone to my place.

Otherwise, you’ll keep backstabbing me, in that case.

But you always needed me, and still wanted my grace.

Ok, I’m coming to you, you don’t have to chase.

When you listen to me, you are my new friend.

Then in your way you try to get me to bend.

Otherwise, I’m thrashed before it starts it has to end.

I feel awfully disgusted just trying to blend.

Because I’ve bent myself so in a different trend.

Yeah, I know it was a mess, but still, I don’t wanna mend.

Because I entered a field of vision I couldn’t apprehend.

I’m already a grown-up, I cannot play ‘pretend’.

I don’t intend to impress, this fakeness I cannot comprehend.

But there’s something in me, telling that I’ll go over and transcend.

The ups and downs kept me going as it keeps reminding me I’m still alive.