A New Heart Sinks

One fated resurfacing of a memory,

July is ending, August will be scary. 

You're coming to be in December

and you'll make my whole life won't you?

For now I'm unprepared and it kills me.

I think I push you off because you just might make me happy.

I really wish this was a love letter

but it's eating me alive so that won't be true. 

Every time I think of you, a new fear comes up. 

What will my mother say if I screw up?

Every time I think of you, a new heart sinks. 

I've built so many up from so many things

but I don't think it'll be easy if i lose this,

because it's not only mine but everybody else's wish.