Why I Do Not Write Diary?

Dear diary,

Here we are again sitting before each other and I sometimes think that you are not less than a god as you hear our everything, every experience, every feeling, and even tragedies. I am saying ‘our’ because since today I have not conveyed you anything about my life. This is not because I am not seeing you like comfort or useless thing but you are fear to me, to my future, to my older self as you can come to my hand at any time in future telling me everything about what I am now, what I do now, what I think, every good and bad experience, every feeling which I will feel when reading the diary.

You must be thinking that I am afraid of myself only, it is obvious as I am writing in that manner, but this is not true. I am not afraid of myself. I have a fear that what if the upcoming life will be getting worse and at that worse time when I will read these things at that time won’t I withdraw my interest from life? The meaning of worse time does not mean financially here but the people, the experience, nature, the system, and even the artificial intelligence which will be there in the future. I was making myself pessimistic and seeing only one side of the coin forgetting that the coin has two sides. 

But now my spirit showed me the other side of the coin. There is a big word ‘if’ in the sentences and it always lay there when any one person on this earth talks about the future. No one is sure about what is going to happen in the future. People can only predict. This also can happen that all human beings start changing their mind and instead of making this world worst of living, making a peaceful one or even nature oblige us to do so. I have changed my mind making it utmost optimistic, at the top level.