Was This Meant To Be...

Oh God, I can't believe it. Finally the day has come. Oh yes, I am gonna get married. A dream which every girl sees. I still can't believe, I'll just pinch myself...ahhhh…. That means I am not dreaming. It's a fact… oh yes…

A girl, simple as she was, Rhea was her name. She was the eldest among her two brothers. Not just by birth right but due to the huge gap in age.

Initially she was the only child and her parents wanted an heir or rather a son to take ahead their family. She was pampered a lot as she was the only child. Lot of toys, dresses, attention and so on.

But she felt lonely. And why not, though she lived in a joint family still she was alone. She was sidelined. She had to live in the so-called boundary. She missed on having a sibling to accompany with.

Poor child had to live alone, play alone but she kept praying for a brother. She wanted someone to lean on. A shoulder who would support her. Her wish did fulfill but it took some time. So she got a younger sibling to look after, not to lean on but to shoulder as an elder sister. 

Years passed, she grew up taking each responsibility dutifully. She shared a good bond between her two brothers. Oh yes, I almost forgot to mention that she was lucky to have another brother soon.

Life went on like a dream. She finished her studies, started working. Life was not easy for her, but she never gave up. There were times when she was totally upset but she knew to swim even when sea was rough. Her strong belief in God and Mother Mary did not allow her to give up. 

Today her wish of getting married fulfilled. Her marriage is fixed. Both started communicating with each other. Both gelled well. Excited and looking forward to spending their life together they feel in love. Both showered each other with immense love. Two hearts became one. One soul united. Engrossed in each other days passed, preparation were high. Everything between them was going smoothly.

Finally the day of wedding arrived, nervous but excited; scared but willing both reached the church.

Ding dong the bell rang singing aloud congratulations two hearts are one, legal husband and wife…

From the wedding day till he moved back abroad everything was a dream or a romantic movie one would seem. I love you and you love me, I believe and you believe. How romantic na. 

Everything was so beautiful between us. We were so much in love with each other. I really loved you a lot, and I still do. I remember those beautiful days we spent together. That Valentine's day, was so special. Your birthday we spend together was indeed beautiful. The way you arranged things for my birthday was so delightful. I want those days back.

Something moving so smoothly without any obstruction or obstacles?

Not possible, someone, somehow has to create a rift. How can people let you be so happy. Yes a small rift. But drastically everything it split. Whom to blame, definitely me. Only I can be wrong. Why should he be blamed? I am wrong. I don't understand things. But I am not greedy, I didn't cheat. 

I never went after money. Just had small dreams, left unfulfilled. I don't say I am correct and everyone wrong. But what I had in mind, what hurt me no one could see it along. Just one thing that I wanted from him, was to say she is not like that. What was said was not right.

I agree I messed it all. All because of me. But after that each day I spent was not easy. Lot of problems, lot of blames were put on me. I just lost hope to live. I was alive but dead within. I never voiced out. I never shared anything, just at night when everyone would sleep my tears dropped dry and my sorrows I engulfed in me. At times I asked God, why me??? Then I said unto myself cause you did it.

At times I looked at God and said good I am paying now for my sins. But why my child should bare pain in him?

Never enjoyed anything, so much I have been through I don't want to discuss everything. But just a few things I want to share so that someone else may not go through it. If a person has evil intention then only it will ruin things, but why was I made to go through so much when I never thought bad about anyone? Don't come, don't touch, don't get involved; am I untouchable?

Even today I know deep in my heart it's only you. I didn't give your place to anyone else. And why would I? I have not cheated. I am not a flirt. I have done all that I had to do. Took up my responsibilities. 

I just lived for a purpose, our child. Not for myself, but for you. I know a lot of injustice has been done to you, if you want to punish me, then here I am in front of you. But in the end one thing is clear for sure, my life revolves around you and our child…. it will always do.

But now I want to breathe for sometime. I want to be with you. I want to complete our family. I want our child to be happy, he deserves better life with us.

Can we think about him? I want you to be happy, I want you to get all you deserved. I wish to see you and our child together. Want to cherish those moments. Want to share with you that our child misses you. He is waiting for you. He loves you.

Am in immense pain, I could not understand all this before. Wish I was not blinded, I could see what I was doing. Forgive me if you please. This is what I plead. If you could except me back in your life, I should…