Waiting For The Shore

The number gets blocked, messages get rerouted, and calls get unanswered. These are the common factors we face after each betrayal. But we still don’t change the number in a hope that she will return, she will again take me in those warm arms and make me feel the same which I felt the first time I hugged her. A hope which always sings in my heart that she will come back and the day will shine for itself as if the clouds are showering their blessings in the form of the saltwater which I once dripped through my eyes. A hope which says that the pain I endured would once again be changed to the ticking time that will make her wait for the calls we used to have and the texts we used to share.

There is one thing common in every boy, once our heartbreaks we act as if we don’t care, we act as if we have more options and the girl betraying us will have her penance but the truth is we cry from the bottom of our heart every day when we remember her and the word called as self-realization remains just a word in the dictionary. We may say we don’t care who she is dating but the second we find out that she is with someone else then the first thing we do is we call her, we text her. In a hope that what we know should turn out to be a lie, what we found out should by happenstance be a joke. We know we are blocked, we know our pain never reaches to the other end but that instinct that jogs in us is irreplaceable. I too did face the same. The first day when I felt the complimentary thought that she is with someone, I started banging the wall so as to divert my mental pain to the physical pain which I can’t bear.

Little did I know that the heart cried for my physical offense and my eyes shine in the dim light like a jewel because of the unattended droplets just staging themselves on my eyelid. I called her, again and again. I know there won’t be a reply but I do want the obvious truth to be a lie. I don"t know when your hand slipped from mine, as I still was ready to live the world for you. I got robbed of my soul from the person who said that I'm her everything. Please don't thrash me everyday as I cant live with a heart that stumbles on every path, rather I request you to end it in a way which best suits me rather then you as at least in that way I could rest in peace.

Seconds felt like days and days craved like months, every second felt like a ticking time bomb. With just a small difference that this time bomb didn’t explode rather, it just made my life miserable from inside out.

Time will come when I could forget her, but the problem is that the time i speak about is still miles away and I’m still rowing in the middle of the ocean waiting for just a glimpse of the shore where I could finally lie and say “YES I MOVED ON”.