Unfair Adjustment

            A scheduled tribe family from some backward area of the southeast Vidarbha region migrated a few decades ago to Mumbai region. They get educated themselves in the area. Elder son got government job. He was lucky to get married with educated girl from the same community from the same region. She was also government teacher. They had two kids. Elder son and younger daughter. Being educated, their children also got good education. Their son was an engineer and employed in government job. He got married to a beautiful, full of enthusiastic and energetic girl from their community too. Meanwhile, their good looking with fair complexion, beautiful daughter completed her graduation in science.

Since there was healthy educational atmosphere in the home, she also dreamed to be self sufficient in the society. Where there is will, there is a way. Of course, first step is always hardest. She appeared for various competitive examinations. She get selected through staff selection commission in one of the central government office. Fortunately ,she was posted in Mumbai office. All members were happy in Mumbai, as all of them were employed. She was very charming, active, creative, sincere and devoted worker. She was a very frank and cooperative girl. Looking at her, any young man would like to be her life partner. Some of the young unmarried employees might had made unsuccessful attempt to influence her so that she would get ready for wedding. Since her whole family was proud of their culture, custom, tradition of the community, they wanted their son-in- law from their caste only. She saw eye to eye with her family opinion. They were searching their son- in-law, but they couldn’t find any match candidate in length and breadth. As she was aging, her parents were very much bothered about her marriage. 

            In search of bridegroom, they c ame back to their native area. Absences make the heart grow fonder. There were many relatives as well as community people. They assisted this family to find the match candidate for her. Real problem with them was the scarcity of educated and employed boys in the community. They were very few to count on tips of fingers. They did not want leave their area. Where one door shuts, another door opens. Before surrendering their hopes completely, a lawyer candidate by profession but few years smaller than her was doing practice in the city. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. They approached to the city at the drop of hat. They kept their proposal with his family through community agent. The lawyer saw the girl with due permission of the elders. He liked her too much. She was as right as rain for him except her age and job.

Community discussion among the elders between two families were taken place and arrived at some amicable solution. Finally the seniors agreed over age relaxation against the practice in caste. One shouldn’t miss the forest for the trees. This was the very big mile stone in caste system which was not a piece of cake. If it happened in higher caste then there would be nothing wrong. Higher community people made provision as per their mutual benefit as great minds think alike . When going gets tough, tough get going. Nobody going to cross and object them. They are law maker for the descending communities in caste system. It was the best thing since sliced the bread for the family of girl. It was the sky-touching joy for them. They were optimistic that soon they would get married their daughter. Time and tide wait for no man. They tried for her transfer to the same city by leaps and bounds. Admistration agreed her request. Both the families with enthusiasm and gaiety arranged the wedding ceremony. Their mission of daughter’s marriage completed successfully by setting new norms in their community.  

                She got married with a husband who was smaller than her in age. Both were happy in their life. She was a very good worker, therefore she was respected by staff and the officers. she was perfect in handling the computer operation which was the need of hour. During that period, skilled workers were not employed in offices as it was just beginning of computerization era. She helped her colleagues and seniors in computer operations.

       She gave birth to two children. Parents of both families were caring for the kids. Unfortunately, parents from both sides passed away in sequence. They were alone in those days. She frequently remained on leave for caring her children. She used to phone her office at any time on any occasion about leave because of her lawyer husband. Being a lawyer, his client date of the case might be get fixed at the eleventh hour by the court authority on any date. For attending case he had to go to court as per court schedule, hence he asked frequently to her wife to avail leave for caring for their kids.  The concerned officer enquired about her odd behavior in recent years in the office in good faith. She called a spade a spade about her problem to him. Then officer suggested a solution of keeping full time maid for her kids. She said to him that they have decided to care for their children themselves. they didn’t have faith in any maid. The couple didn’t want any help from others for their nourishment. They had decided to grow their children by themselves only. To fulfill their decision, she was always in hurry. Many times, she overlooked the traffic signal and rules, which might turn out to be fatal to her at any time.

      It seemed that she herself adjusted for her family decisions often, to be married to a community boy, married with a husband who was younger than her. For the job of her husband, she refused promotion a number of times declining higher position in office and status in society because of transfer issues. She was always without pay for caring for her kids.

The lady in the story always sacrificed her emotions, dreams just for compromising every time on every aspect of life. She was the victim of an artificially formed caste system and religious norms by a few selfish religious leaders and blind followers. Although nature gifted her beauty, talent, attitude, and perfection in work to rule over the others as seen in the society, she never enjoyed it. Whenever she reported on duty, then she performed duty with full dedication. One should respect her scarifying attitude for just the sake of family love in today’s selfish world.