Tiara

Querencia smoothened her dress as she looks into the mirror. She is not a fan of dresses but her mother insisted because of today’s event. It is Querencia’s birthday! Who is she bluffing? She does not like birthdays. People will give you extreme messages that will make your heart melt but after that day, people will ignore you like you did not exist.

Querencia wanted to possess a map since she was a kid. For so many holidays, even her birthday, she requested nothing but that. Of course, her parents won't grant her a map because they're thinking that she might need a doll, book, clothes, and stuff that Querencia never desired. Another reason maybe is, what could be the use of map? If Querencia wanted to travel, she can use her phone’s GPS. Nonetheless, Querencia likes the weird map but don't we like something different, at times?

She walked in a modest way and her parents approved of her appearance. They decided to celebrate Querencia’s birthday on a sushi restaurant that the celebrator likes. The birthday celebrator grabbed the arm of her father and smiled gleefully but she was wondering why her dad wears that expression. “My dear, your nose, it is bleeding.” Her father exclaimed and everything went black for Querencia.

She is a healthy woman because of her lifestyle, that's why she wondered how she got leukemia. Querencia was clearly confused when the doctor discussed money matters to her parents. She does not like to make her parents suffer. It felt that her world collapsed in an instant. Isn't this cliché? Is this some kind of a prank show? She couldn't digest any of those information and she ran in the hospital garden. Her parents are shocked but allowed her to roam around.

Querencia rested in the trees and think how much she love her family. She even dreamt of a house where her mom can rest. Because of her illness, Querencia can never repay the sufferings of her parents. She was about to cry when the tree moved. She thought that it was nothing but an imagination but it did move. Horrifying feelings start when the tree started to speak, "My dear, I know you're troubled but do not run." Querencia without blinking replied, "I am just imagining things. " The tree immediately said, "I am the tree that sees every truth and lie. I can provide if one will sacrifice. “A bothered Querencia said, "What do you mean? " The tree explained, "I can cure you. " Querencia shouted, "Do it now. " The tree stated calmly, "My dear, it is not that easy. I have the antidote in my left branch. Gulp and you will be cured. On the other branch, I have your most desired map. Choose only one."

 

Querencia took a deep breath and replied, "I will take the map. " The tree seemed satisfied but asked, "Why do you even like this piece of paper? This antidote can cure you. After that, you can live a normal life with your family. You might even have a partner in life." The girl smiled and answered, "Do you even know the meaning of my name? Querencia is a Spanish word which means a place where one feels at home, a place where you are the most authentic version of yourself. I wanted a map because I was lost a long time ago. I do not recognize myself in the mirror. My passion faded like a paint and there is no way that I can put color into that again When people tried to ask me my wants, I can't respond because I don't even know how to answer. I tried to conform to the wants of the society and fill in my hunger to the world but I ended up dissatisfied. I do not want to hear the deafening world again. I badly want to forgive myself for the mistakes that I did in the past, but I lost track of the road and the time. I tried to fix myself but I can no longer stand straight. People should've helped but they manipulated me. People used me for their own wants and benefits. I do not want to be caged in this area again because I cannot move. Kind words and love no longer touch my soul. I longed for direction and I believed that this map can give it to me. For once, I want to spot where my home is. I want to be taken care of. I had been so tired all my life, will you allow me to rest on my querencia?" The tree gave the map to the crying girl. QUerencia added, “May I have a request? Will you make my parents that I existed? This decision of mine is selfish but once you are stuck in a dark place, you just want to go out.” The tree nodded and let go of Querencia.

 

Querencia accepted the map and waved. She entered the long, dark, and deep woods. She does not know where the road will take her but she has her map that is the only thing that matters. The map symbolizes her redemption and salvation in life. Querencia does not have any will to go on anymore but she tries to go through the day. This time, no one will push her through. This is selfish but she chose herself for the very first time. It is okay, right? To choose yourself amidst chaos. To be with peace in the middle of the deafening ground. She carries the map as if she holds the missing piece that will make her understand the meaning of life. She carries it as if she located the long lost key that will make her doors open. She holds it as if she filled in a piece of her that is never completed by anyone. She stopped and looked at her map. It was nothing but a piece of paper but it brought her joy.