There's No God

Where is she gone? Mama

“God took her. 

Why?

“God takes good people early. I told you na.” while sobbing her mom replied. 

When Can I see her again?

Amm… It might take some time. God needs good people in their team. 

But at least she can do a video call?

No! It is not allowed there. 

Why?

Her mom got irritated. She took a long breath and decided to change her approach.

Amm… Actually, your Priya di has become a star so you can see her in the sky.

I can’t see any stars here. 

Her mom wanted to answer it but she found it highly inappropriate and stupid to blame pollution for this. She was already having a lot of grief as she had just lost her elder daughter who was the only earning person in the house. She has brooded about the current circumstances.

Mama! Are you listening to me?

“Why don’t you just go and watch Television?” Her mom tried to divert the conversation.

“They cut our connection last week. Sister was supposed to pay the bill.” The Little one replied unaware of the situation. For her, life is still a mystery and the cruel world is yet to unveil. But her curiosity couldn’t be ignored under the account of Corona breakout. She had all rights to know what was happening but unlike mature people, she was also getting misled by the gimmicky and baseless answer. 

She wanted to know why can’t go to school. Why parks are not opened. Most importantly, where does her Sister disappear all of a sudden? All she remembered was some people took her to the hospital and she never came back. 

While thinking all these, she spotted a star in the sky. She shouted in excitement. 

“Priya Di”

Mom! Mom! See Priya Di.

She turned back and found her mom fell asleep. 

She had a long day. She had been through a lot recently. She might need this little sleep before her head blows away with all these thoughts that would haunt her soon.

5-years old Ayesha kept staring at the star till it disappeared again behind the polluted cloud. She dozed off immediately after that in the silence of that night

The next day India reported record-breaking death in a single day. That night would not turn into a brighter day for many. 

When she woke up she noticed that Mom had already cleaned up the house. Breakfast was ready and seemed like everything was good. 

She brushed her teeth and started having breakfast. It was her favorite noodle. For a while, she had forgotten everything. Seemed like she had moved on from the questions. She didn’t want her mom to answer it anymore. 

That day just passed quickly. There was a lot happening outside the house but she was unaware and even if she knew the truth, all she could do is to pray. Pray to God.

But most of her prayers were unheard of recently. She wished several times last month to go out and play with her friends in the park but it was unanswered. This is not the first time. Even last year, she asked for A Bicycle on her last birthday but she didn’t get it. She was told that God was busy and her prayers would be answered soon. And last month, her sister said that God had listened to her prayer and she would get a bicycle on her next birthday.

Only three days were left until her 6th birthday and she was curious about it but her sister wasn't there. She was a little skeptical about the plan. She remembered whenever she wished for anything it was her sister who handed her over the staff she wished for. Maybe she knew where God is.

That evening while she was staring at the sky, she noticed a cloud shaped like a bicycle. Suddenly, she felt an urge to get it now. She rushed to the kitchen and asked her mom about the bicycle. 

Would I still get it?

Mom doesn’t reply. 

Mom! What would we do on my birthday?

Mom remains silent and suddenly breaks into tears. 

Mom! Why are you crying? Please don’t cry otherwise the ghost will come. 

Her mom hugged her. She had a smiling face with tears, also she remembered the promise that God… correction… her elder daughter made about getting Ayesha a bicycle. Both were not there now.

Three days later, when she woke up. A little present was waiting for her. As soon as she walked out of her room, she noticed the bicycle in the living area. She got excited. She rode the bicycle the whole day in the house. She also insisted to go out with her first bicycle but her mom didn’t allow her.

Later that day, when she was cutting the cake she asked her mom. 

Can I still make wishes?

Yes! You can make any wish. 

She blew the candles and made a wish. She ate all the cake as her friends didn’t show up. They all had emergencies at once and none of them were free.

On Sunday, she noticed that Mom had packed all the belongings of her sister. Now she had her own room till sister came back from the sky. She thought her sister might have gone for a long time. Maybe God took people for a long time. She formed theories on her own and they kept changing as she grew up and became more sensitive each passing day.

A month had passed by. She was no more excited about it. Her new bicycle. The room and the house arrest. She recently started reading books from her sister's shelves and she found her interest in it. Her mom didn’t pack the books.

One night she asked Mom about God. 

Mama! There is no God na?

Who told you this? 

I made a wish for Priya Di to return home on my birthday but it has been a month. I didn't even get a call. So I think there is no God...

...God might be busy. He will answer soon. 

No! There is no god. It was Priya di who gave me all the gifts. Not god.

Her mom was shocked and didn’t know what to reply. 

No! There is God. 

No! There is not. I read Priya Di's diary and she only gifted all these for me.

Her mom was speechless. First of all, she didn’t aware of her late elder daughter’s interest in writing Journal, and secondly, she was hapless at the moment. All she had was tears in her eyes.

Why don’t you tell me the truth? I am not a kid anymore. I can read English properly. 

Mama! Mama! Bolo na! Ma…

Your sister is dead. And dead people don’t come back. Her mom said that out loud while trying hard to control her emotions.

Dead? Like People die in serial? But I have seen them coming back after a while.

No! The real death. And in reality, people don’t come back. Your sister will not come back. She is dead. 

How?

She was suffering from coronavirus. While saying so, the tears started streaming down her face.

Mama! Please don’t cry. I just want Priya Di back? Mama!

Beta! I know you want her back but there is nothing that we can do about it. 

The little one also started crying seeing her mom crying.

You know what you were right about God. There is no God. There is only hope. 

Hope?

Yeah! Hope for a better tomorrow. Like a positive vibe. You are too small to understand it but you will someday. Honey! Just give it some time. 

Okay! Mama!

Her mom put a stop to the tear stream and hugged Ayesha tightly. That was the only hope left in her life. She knew fear never built the future, only hope did.