Nikita Bhanushali

Drama Inspirational

5.0  

Nikita Bhanushali

Drama Inspirational

The Rise Of Phoenix

The Rise Of Phoenix

25 mins
1.0K


When we think of women our minds snap to a beautiful looking one with long luscious hair, painted fingernails, lean figure, wearing a cute top paired with jeans, high heels, purse hanging over her shoulder, her face looking flawless with evenly applied makeup, topped with matching earrings. But what about the women who are nothing like this? The ones who don’t want to fit in this stereotype category. The main character of this story is also someone like this, a girl with boy cut black hair, a lean-fit figure, stands tall with a daunting personality and a determination to become someone in life.

Ending my last call with a sigh, I placed my head on the back of my seat closing my eyes for a second. A few more months I consoled myself before I could get out of this job. “Akira, let’s go. Stop sleeping every chance you get to.” Anjali shook her head in annoyance while I rolled my eyes at her. “Whatever. Let me take my bag.” With that we all headed out of the office after a long night.

Reaching home I tried to sneak in so as to not disturb my sleeping mother and sister. “You are home, Akira.” My mother came out of the room in half sleep. “Ma, its 4:00 am, go back to sleep. I will eat something then take a nap.” I insisted. “I know, I know. How was work?” She asked yawing. “It was the same old usual mom, unless a teenager forgot how to use a washing machine and called us half panicking.” I smiled as my mother let out a small laugh. “Alright, go straight to sleep after eating, do not spend the remaining time playing PUBG or watching youtube videos on that stupid phone of yours. You have your college to attend.” Mom instructed with the usual glare. “Yes Ma, I promise. Now you also go you have to be at the hospital in a few hours.” I sighed as she hugged me, gave me a kiss and left.

College was always an exception to the reality I lived in because it was the one thing in my entire day I looked forward to. I know it sounds boring but when you want to become a doctor, books are your only best friend. “Hey man, what’s up?” Karan gave me a high five. “I am just heading to Mr.Lokhande’s lecture.” I sighed shaking my head. “I hope God gives you the strength to bear him.” Karan laughed. “My viva marks are in his hands I have no option. See you after class.” I smiled while he smirked.

Heading to the canteen I saw my entire gang there chilling as Maya waved at me. “You really think proposing Pooja is a good idea?” Rajiv laughed looking at Nikhil. “She is more of a nerd than all of us combined. I feel this is the first time she might have entered the canteen.” Anjali teased the nervous boy. “Stop harassing the poor boy.” I wrapped an arm around his shoulder in a friendly manner. “Oh please. Look at him shivering like a leaf.” Karan laughed as the rest of them shook their heads in agreement. “Just go for it.” I encouraged him. Watching the next scenes unfold was funny yet amusing as my attention was diverted by a phone call. “Yes Ma.” Instead I heard my sister’s voice and panic ran through my body. Her three words were enough for my feet to get the signal to rush out of the campus. “Mom has fainted.”

Reaching the hospital I saw her in the emergency room as I hugged my teary sister. “What happened?” Her face looked full of guilt as she looked away. “Will you tell me Riya what happened?” I insisted holding her but we were interrupted. “She hasn’t taken her asthma pump nor her medicines since a month. This was bound to happen.” Dr. Ranveer Choudary was a 45 year old sturdy man with black dyed hair, fair skin and deep brown eyes. Sometimes he just looked like my father. “But how is that possible? I had given her money for the medicines.” I shrugged confused when the realization kicked in.

Banging my fist on the wall of the hospital as I closed my eyes in frustration I took a deep breath and sat against the cold pavement. How many times I had begged her to take care of her health yet every time she neglected it for my needs. That was my job not hers, I was supposed to be the leader of the family. Staring into the dark, starry night for the first time in years I just wished Dad was here. I did miss him but every time I reminisced the moments I shared with him, the one memory was stuck in loop in the depths of my brain. The day I saw him for the last time, felt his touch, saw him smile was the day I lost him.

Flashback.

The pitter patter of the rain always created a comfortable shield around me. I loved how the smell of the wet mud brought peace in me, how the water dripping from plants created ripples, the flowers bloomed from their buds, the croaking of the frogs could be heard from a distance. How it created a chaos amongst the walking people as they frantically search for a shelter or an umbrella, the silver puddles are interrupted as the cars splash through them. The sky turns grey, the rain becomes that fabric you can let your hand reach out to and let it slip by your fingers. It always reminded of me being with my dad in the car, letting our windows down and feeling the icy cold water against our skin.

In that moment my ears caught the honking of a car not before its headlights almost blinded me. My father arrived in our little white Wagon-R as it stood beside me. Going away from the shelter of the building I immediately sat in car to save my new clothes from getting wet. “So how was the party?” He asked as we drove away towards our destination. “It was amazing, Pa. Thank you for allowing me.” I smiled. “No worries darling.” He smiled back. The thunder suddenly rumbled through the clouds sending a shiver through my spine. I couldn’t help but feel there was something ruinous about the day. It was as if the universe was giving me sign when we saw a pair of headlights come towards us.

Current day.

My eyes snapped open when I felt a hand on my shoulder, thankfully the raindrops had covered the teardrops which slid down my cheek. Giving a small smile to my sister I wrapped my arms around her as she sat beside me covering us with the umbrella. “Mom is okay now we can take her home.” Riya smiled. “Sure I will talk to the doctor. Any report on when she will be able to resume her duties?” I asked knowing my mom would care more about that. “I don’t know ask him.” Riya shrugged as I nodded.

“She can report to her nurse duties after 2 days of complete rest.” Dr. Ranveer instructed us. “Thank you, doctor. And about the money..” I trailed off. “Don’t worry I will take care of it.” He assured. As much as I hated the taking care part there was no use arguing, he considered us family. “Give her medicines from time to time. See you soon, Miss Priya Khurrana.” The doctor smiled before excusing himself. “Common Ma, we have a lot to discuss.” I spoke holding her hand as we took her home.

Few days have passed since the incident and fortunately everything was going well. For instance when Nikhil actually proposed to Pooja she flushed and almost ran away from the canteen not before whispering a yes. The irony of teenage love was an alien concept to me. It amused me how could people think that it would last forever. My mother was in a better condition off to her work schedule while I was stuck at my night job in the call centre. The things we do for a better standard of living. A caller broke my chain of thoughts. “Hello. Good morning this is Akira. How may I help you?” I chimed in a fake manner. The night continued to roll with a few ups and downs until the dawn came with my freedom.

“Ma, hurry up we will get late for the movie.” I shouted from the living room. “Yes I am coming.” Mom yelled back. “How am I looking?” Riya squeaked showing me her off white shoulder top, blue jeans and heels. “You look like a girl.” I shrugged off and I could see her scoff. She was a replica of mother with her light brown eyes, fair skin and not to forget the chocolate brown hair. But she had that enthusiastic and care free attitude like father. “Unlike you, who wears the same old baggy shirts, jeans and the worn sneakers.” She rolled her eyes. “Riya she is your sister. Behave.” Mom scolded her as she came out wearing her creme coloured salwaar suit, her hair tied up in a bun. “I know Ma. I was just giving her some advice.” She spoke walking away as I let out a small laugh. “The nerve of this girl, I’m sorry, dear. I know how hard you work for us.” Mother held my hand. “It’s okay, ma. It’s her hormones talking. Let’s go.”

Standing in the queue to buy tickets I felt a push, turning around I saw a group of boys laughing and talking. One of them with black hair said “Hey sorry man.” Then he turned back to his group. I got that a lot because of my appearance and I didn’t mind much. “Di how much more time?” Riya chimed. “Di? She is a girl?” A lean looking boy spoke with blonde streaks from the same group as the rest of them laughed. “It doesn’t matter who I am, just stay away.” I warned not before taking Riya’s hand as we walked forward. “Well her sister surly looks like a snack.” The same guy whistled. “I said back off. You lay a finger on my sister and you see what I will do.” I snarled giving the guy a slight push. “”Hey! Hey!” All of them lunged towards me and I was ready for fight before someone called them out. “Stop it guys. Leave them.” A tall-fit guy with brown hair, black eyes, entered wearing a loose tee, ripped jeans and branded shoes who was definitely a rich brat from the looks of it. “But..she pushed me.” The blonde was going to get one from me. Riya held my hand begging me stop as I sighed. “I said leave it. We will miss our movie.” The guy rolled his eyes at me before walking away with his gang.

Watching the movie I could still feel their eyes boring into my soul from the back. But I ignored it for the sake of my family. I couldn’t let them get in trouble for the sake of my mistake. Time passed by and the movie ended, with one last glance at the gang that was the last time I hoped I ever saw them, especially the brown haired one. But destiny works a bit differently. You never know what roller coaster ride it might just put you on.

A few years later.

Getting ready for a party is difficult, but what happens when it is for the internship you have earned? Complete chaos. I couldn’t bear the mess around me that my two wonderful friends had created. “Maya, Anjali! Just stop it. You two look fantastic please.” I almost screamed and begged at them. “It’s easy for you to say. You have just applied kajal and lipstick that too after the two of us bribed you.” Maya snapped fixing her makeup again. Maya was the gorgeous one out of all of us. Her caramel long hair, deep brown eyes, tan skin, with her curves she was the dream girl of every guy. On the other hand Anjali had dark warm brown hair, beige skin tone, black eyes she was beautiful. “Why do you people even like makeup? It’s a waste of money, besides we should embrace and love the way we look naturally.” I tried to flaunt but the two of them just glared at me before breaking into laughter. I squeaked as the notification on my phone went off. “”Hey see Aarya has just uploaded a new video.” My fingers clicked on it instantly. “That’s her show we paid the tickets to so we better watch it.” Anjali smiled.

Reaching the party, I could see throngs of people laughing, talking, whispering, as the three of us stood in a corner. “I don’t know half of these people. What is going on?” I asked getting a bit irritated. “I have heard the investors of the hospital are also present here. And let’s just say they brought along some extra people with them.” Maya filled in us with all the gossip. “I can’t bear this. I need some alcohol to reduce the noise. Do you guys need anything?” I asked. “Nope I see cute guys, they will get me something.” Maya winked before dispersing in the crowd. “I need a Cosmopolitan.” Anjali replied as I nodded, heading towards the bar.

“I need a Cosmo for my friend and a vodka on the rocks for me.” I spoke as the bartender gave me a surprised look. “What?” I snapped with a glare as he muttered a “Nothing” and went back to make the drinks. I exactly knew what his problem was. My hair had grown till the length of chin because medical apparently gave me zero time to cut it. On top of that my black dress and these terrible heels were screaming to the world I was a woman. Which I had never faced before, it was easier for me to stay like a guy, get less judgements and quirky looks from people. “Hey. Scotch on the rocks for me.” Looking over my shoulder I saw guy in a navy blue suit, fit body, brown hair. I felt he was a bit similar but shrugged it off. “Here you go ma’am. Vodka on the rocks.” The bartender handed me the drink as I muttered a thank you. “That’s a strong drink for a lady. I am impressed.” The navy guy smiled. “Alcohol is the same it’s the tolerance that’s different.” I smirked as he let out a small laugh. “Hands down you are right.” The guy shook his head. “So? What role do you play in this party?” He spoke tapping his fingers on the bar table. “I am an intern here. Dr. Akira Khurrana.” I extended my hand. “Pleasure to meet you Akira, I am Rahat Singhania.” He shook my hand. “You’re drink, sir.” The bartender interrupted our moment. “Thank you.” He smiled at the bartender before turning to me. “Hopefully see you soon, Akira. Keep up the good work.” Taking a sip of his drink he left leaving a surreal smile on my face.

“What took you so long?” Anjali frowned as I handed her the drink. “I met some guy called Rahat Singhania.” I spoke a little confused about his existence here. “Oh my god, Maya is going to be so jealous.” Anjali squeaked. “He looks handsome?” I assumed taking a sip. “Yes that also he is the son of the humongous investor of our hospital.” Anjali smiled and the realization set in. So he just talked to me because of that? Wait a minute why did I care? What’s wrong with my heart?

The party was convivial after that, not to mention Maya got so drunk after the series of acceptance she was ready to jump on tables and create havoc but fortunately we took her home. Also I did catch a couple of glances of Rahat but after that he just vanished. God knows where and why was I so keen about him intrigued me. Pushing those incidents aside today was the best of my life. It was Aarya’s show aka Boss woman (her channel name). Wearing her merch, which I had bought after saving for about a year, was a black hoodie written “Hustle” with white. I paired it with dark blue jeans, my black and white sport shoes. “You guys ready?” I asked them. “Yes. The Uber is here.” Anjali spoke.

Reaching the venue I could feel the excitement around us, my hands were shaking, my stomach was churning. The feeling was hysterical knowing I would meet or even see the person who has been my inspiration my whole life. I have been following her since she was at 100k subscribers and now seeing her 15 million made me feel proud for a fact that she came such a long way. She was the light in the darkest times of my life, motivated me to work hard make a life for myself, run behind my dreams and goals . She was like the pillar I never had, of course after my mother. The entrance gate opened and we all headed inside.

Coming back home things still felt surreal to me, the way she stood tall on the stage with her red t-shirt, black ripped jeans, sneakers, her braids she looked badass. Her positive energy could make anyone fall in love with her. But the one thing that stood apart from the entire craziness of the show was the live Q&A session. When one girl from the audience asked her a question it made me question my entire life. “What are the privileges of being a woman?” To which she replied

“We woman are often called names, categorised, judged on every little thing. Our decisions are impacted on what will the world say? We are meant to abide by the rules, norms of the society, going against it only gets us criticism, people telling us no every opportunity they get. Like, Can I stay out late? “No” Can I party? “No” Can I drink? “No” Can I get paid more than him? “No” Can I go on a vacation? “No” Can I dress the way I want? “No” Can I be myself? “No” When we grow up hearing all this, we are bound to think that it would be so much easier to be a man. We could be free spirits, dress how we want, talk how we want, be who we want. Taking pride in being called the man of the family, dressing up like them to gel with the society so that no one will keep any expectations from them about marriage is the shield we make around us. I am not saying dressing up is bad but why be the man? When we can, do the same work as woman. If we ourselves don’t take pride in us, we won’t get the respect we deserve.

If we are too emotional we are termed as dramatic, if we try to be a leader our qualities are judged, if we are straightforward we are being bitchy, if we dream of getting equality we are delusional, if we get angry we are overreacting, if we turn something impossible into possible it was our luck, if we try to change the world we are crazy. Show the world how crazy we can be to achieve the dreams we see. Have confidence in yourself, because a woman has enough privileges and strength to conquer the world.”

The speech hit every nerve of my body as I started questioning every decision I made, every reaction I gave, got me to thinking was it all just a cover

to hide the real me?

“Ma, I am heading the hospital. Might get a little late, I have to assist my senior doctor in an operation.” I spoke wearing my sandals. “Do you ever take a break from studies or work?” Mom looked annoyed. “I did have my own share of fun, now time for work.” I smiled taking my bag. “You took a real break after almost 6 years darling. You have to look after your own health if you want to heal other people.” Mom spoke with concern. “I am taking care Ma, stop worrying.” I spoke heading for the door. “Ma this is the list you asked for the pooja we are doing for Papa.” Riya spoke and my heart froze. I knew that next week was the day I lost my Papa. Gulping my tears I turned around to see my mother glaring at my sister. “It’s okay, Ma. Let me know if you need anything.” I gave them half a smile before closing the door behind me.

Walking out the ICU, I washed my hands and removed the gown I had been wearing since 2hrs. When I heard a familiar voice in the hallway, peeking I saw Rahat speaking with our Dean. In an instant my heart started beating at rapidly as if it would explode, my breathing was hitched, my hands were shaking and my brain went numb. You ask why? Well let me tell you after that party I had a lot of encounters with him in which the last one almost led us to kiss. I didn’t know how to talk to him because I had zero experience in all this. This was first time I had let a guy come so close to me, now I was in fear that he would leave me. Letting out a sigh, I looked at myself in the mirror before whispering “Am I turning into a woman?” Of course I was! How else would I explain the shoulder length hair, the traditional kurti and leggings, well that was the dress code but about the feelings I had for Rahat? Or how I was starting to enjoy the little things that made me a woman or who I was.

“Dr. Akira. I presume you’re done with your work.” Our Dean stood in front of me along with the investor. “Yes sir. I am just heading home.” I spoke trying to avoid him. “Good, I am proud of the amount of dedication you have for your work.” Dean smiled. “Thank you, sir. I should head home now.” I spoke walking away just to get interrupted again. “Dr. Akira. I understand your running late and I am also heading home. I could drop you if you like.” Rahat spoke with his charming smile. “Thank you, Mr. Singhania. It would be a pleasure if you have no problem in going complete opposite route to where I live from yours.” I eyed him hoping he would get my signal, but instead he smiled warmly before muttering “I have no problem.”

“We need to talk about us, the more we prolong this the more it will get awkward for us.” Rahat spoke stopping the car midway. “Are you sure?” I spoke biting my lip nervously. “You can’t always run away from your problems.” Rahat smiled getting out the car as he signalled me to. “Alright what do you want to talk about?” I spoke looking in the distance as I stood next to him. “Where do you see us going?” He asked. “I don’t know. I have too many things on my plate.” I replied honestly. “That makes the two of us.” He confessed. “So, what now?” I asked. “We could take a little break and figure out what we want in life.” Instantly my heart started to break a little because I just couldn’t do breaks. I knew after that people fall apart and forget about them.

“I know you’re scared of losing me, because of your father. That’s completely normal Akira.” In that moment he held both of hands, looking straight into my eyes. “You remember the first time we met?” He asked. “It was at the party.” I replied. “No it was at the movie theatre when we were naive, aggressive, teenagers with hormonal imbalance.” He smirked. “No way, that was you?” I spoke with my mouth hung open. “Yeah that was me the guy with the ripped jeans, brown hair.” He spoke. “What is the point of this?” I asked still trying to digest it. “You know that day I saw a girl with short hair, baggy clothes, protecting her sister and that time I thought you had some guts to do that. Look at you, now you have turned into a beautiful woman who has poise, is confident, smart but in your heart you are still stuck being a teenager who needs to prove herself every time and protect the people around you.

“Set yourself free. Being only human you are allowed to be vulnerable, take support from the people around you. I know this because I was like you.” An amused expression appeared on my face as he nodded. “It will help you move on.” A smile appeared on my face. “Thank you. For understanding the way I am and being so mature about all this. I hate to admit but you’re right, we do need this.” I sighed holding his hands tighter. “So, see you soon.” He tried to be happy but I could see the glint of sadness in his eyes. “See you soon, right.” I forced a smile while my insides were breaking apart. “If we are meant to be, fate will bind us together again, that time we would be much stronger, committed and in love to take this forward.” He smiled kissing my softly.

Reaching home after a long day at work is always a boon for the body. Instead of the usual buzz I heard yelling, arguments and smashing. “What is going on here?” I demanded. “Your favorite daughter is here, Ma. You only care about her wishes because she is becoming a doctor like Pa. Me on the other hand no one cares about, she is Riya, just a kid who doesn’t understand anything. Guess what Ma, I am old enough now.” Riya yelled with anger. “Just stop it, Riya. We are doing as much as we can for you.” Mom cried. “What is this all about?” I demanded again. “She wants the car again.” Mom sighed as my heart shivered at the thought. “You know we can’t afford one right now.” I tried to reason. “Yes we can. It’s a second hand one, at a very reasonable installment.” Riya argued. “Riya..” Mom tried to speak. “No Ma. Just because Pa died in a car accident that doesn’t mean we stay like this forever.” Then my sister looked at me. “It’s being 10 years Di. Get out your grief. Just because you couldn’t save Pa that doesn’t mean in that fear you get to control my life.” With that Riya went in her room and slammed the door shut along with my heart.

22nd July, it was here like every year, haunting my mind and dreams, developing a fear and guilt, giving me anxiety and stress with the regret of losing him forever. I relived that day every year in the depths of my mind, replaying every scene, wishing things could have gone differently. Here I was sitting in front of the havan as the Pandit chanted his mantras while my eyes just stared at the burning fire. It felt like forever when the pandit said the pooja was done and we should all get up. Taking the Prasad all of us stepped out of the mandir ready to go home.

Nobody had talked in the house since that day, it was as if all you could hear was silence with 3-4 words here and there. Riya still wasn’t talking to me while Mom had been suffering since then. I couldn’t meet their eyes knowing every word Riya said was true. I was so engrossed in my own grief that I stopped caring what others thought or felt. Losing Pa made me create huge walls around me, turning myself into acting like the son of the family to stop the world from hurting my family, to protect myself from judgements, racism, harassment, from being weak. In the end it was about accepting the way I was and how strong I could be the way I am.

“Ma?” I walked inside the room as her head towards me. Slowly I sat next to her as I placed my head on her lap and instantly her hand caressing my head. “I am sorry, Ma. I couldn’t save Pa, I did the needful but it wasn’t enough. I am sorry instead of being with you I tried controlling you. I am sorry I couldn’t let go.” With that I cried for everything. Brick by brick my walls came tumbling down, my defenses washed away with my salty tears, my emotions walled off behind the mask of copping. Until the world became blur, along with all the sounds. Everything was gone as I passed into the oblivion of unconsciousness.

“Di? Di?” I heard a soft voice trying to wake me up. Squeezing my eyes open I felt a ray of sunshine on my face.”Riya?” I spoke a little confused. “Yes Di?” She smiled. “I am sorry Riya for everything.” I sighed sadly. “No Di. I am sorry, you took care of me more than yourself, even when I acted entitled towards you. I shouldn’t have said that about Pa, it was not your mistake.” She spoke as she hugged me. The hug lasted for a while before we heard a knock on the door. “Ma, come in.” I smiled as we saw her come in with steaming cups of tea. “I am so proud of you two.” Mom smiled with teary eyes as she hugged us both. “Look.” Riya pointed outside. “The rain stopped after a long night.” I spoke. “And the sun is rising.” Mom smiled. “You remember what Pa used to say after days like these?” Riya spoke. “Yeah I do.” I replied. “After a long dark night of struggles the ray of light will come as a hope.” Three of us spoke simultaneously. Pa was right the light came, after so long we were happy.

Epilogue.

Staring at the mirror I was ready as my long black hair was perfectly curled, my makeup was on point along with my accessories and my golden saree. “You are looking beautiful.” Rahat smiled kissing my cheek softly. “You don’t look bad yourself.” I smiled as he looked handsome in his black suit. “Everyone is waiting downstairs, let’s go.” Rahat spoke fixing his hair. “Yes, just a minute.” I sighed taking a deep breath. “My dear beloved wife you’re going to do great.” He spoke holding my hand. “Hmm, I have worked too hard for this.” I smiled. “Your Pa would be proud of you.” Rahat spoke the exact words I needed to hear. “I love you.” I whispered. “Love you too. Now let’s go.”

“Unity hospital. In the loving memory of Dr. Bharat Khurrana.” Reading that made my heart flutter, Pa’s dream of opening his own hospital finally came true. “Hello Fashion Designer.” I smiled as Riya hugged me. “Hi Di. Pa would be happy.” She muttered. “Are you two going to stand there for forever?” Rahat laughed. “Of course not, but you know my Di she loves to be sentimental about all this.” Riya teased me. “Riya!” I scolded her while the two of them laughed at me. “Alright, let’s go.”

After the tour of the entire hospital I asked “Where is everyone else?” Rahat pointed towards the canteen and three of us walked in. “They are here.” My mother in law spoke. Sitting with the people I loved I realised life could be so much more beautiful than it already is. There will be highs and lows in life but my husband and family by my side I knew I could conquer the world.

Your true self is buried beneath your negativity, anxieties, self doubt, opinions, conclusions, the lines you draw around you, finding yourself is going back to who you were before you drowned.


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