The Original Peace

Once at the top of the hill, there lived a boy named Pawan. He lived with his old grandmother. At the top of the hill, there were no other houses around them so they had no neighbors. The boy had been growing up with the rock beneath his foot and the fresh air of nature without communicating with other people. His old grandmother was everything to him since his childhood. He studied his primary education at home to her grandmother and then finished the high school study from an old teacher in the small village down to the hill with some farmers' child. 

At the time when the boy was grown up, he wanted to do the higher study, going to the small town down to the hill that existed 20 kilometers away from his home. When he went to his grandmother to take the permission, she seemed afraid of his wish. She knew Pawan was now grown up but yet he was oblivious to the world. He did not even know how people came to the world. He still believed in those fairy tales and knew everyone including he and his grandmother came to their mother's womb from the God's place with a beautiful ride of a beautiful chariot sitting on the lap of a beautiful angel. His grandmother did not want to send him away but she had to agree when Pawan insisted.

Going to the college for higher study, he realized he was not like others. There were a lot of differences between him and those students at the college. Pawan was oblivious to most of the thing of the reality while others were aware of this. One day at the corner of the college roof he found a friend of him was lying over a girl naked. Without any hesitation, he went to them and asked what they were doing. The girl was afraid, so covering herself with her clothes she got up and left at the other corner. The boy knew Pawan did not know anything about sex and he was sure whatever he would define him about it, he would believe that. Having a smile on his face and being relaxed he told Pawan that they were making love. Pawan heard the word ‘love' many times but did not know exactly what it was. The boy left but the word ‘love' kept echoing inside Pawan.

In the vicinity of many people in his college days, he started listening to the word ‘love' more and more but could not find its true meaning. He looked at the dictionary from his college library and there he found it was written. "Have a great affection or liking for". It was not clear to him yet.

One day when he was coming to the town form his house at the hill, he saw a man was kissing a child's cheek taking up to his lap. Pawan looked at them and while he was passing by them, he heard the man saying, ‘My little angel I love you so much.' Again the word made him perplexed.

Last day he went to his old teacher and asked him the meaning of love. The teacher was so philosophic that without describing it to him, he smiled and said, ‘Love is everywhere, only you have to clean your eyes to see it and warm your heart to feel it.' He could not understand what he heard and he knew whatever he was going to ask his old teacher to know about love, he was going to give him the more complex answers he would never understand. Without having his answers from him, he left.

Next day in front of his college he saw a mother came to meet her daughter. The mother came from so far to meet her daughter as they were not living together. Pawan was standing there. Her daughter was his friend also. When they met the mother hugged her daughter and having tears in her eyes she whispered ‘Love you, my sweetheart'. Pawan broadened his eyes as he heard the word again. ‘Love, what the hell exactly it is’, he thought. He wanted to know because the word raised the sail on the sea in his heart in looking for the meaning of love.

At the night when he was home, he went to his old grandmother. As far as he could remember she never hugged him, she never kissed him and she never whispered in his ears that she loved him. When Pawan went to her, she gave him a look that has neither happiness nor compassion. Pawan was accustomed to that look and without making any hesitation he asked her if she knew what the ‘love' was. His grandmother shivered and frowned at him hearing that. She said, ‘you better not try to know that. It's the root of sorrow.' How strange, he did not even know what ‘Sorrow' meant. He knew his grandmother as an angry old lady who had tweaked his ears red many times since he was a child. He did not dare to ask any more questions so he left her with carrying another word to look for. At first, it was ‘Love' only but now ‘Sorrow' also.

Now Pawan was very confused because in looking for the meaning of Love, he was getting different answers from everyone he was asking. His teacher told him ‘Love is everywhere, only you have to clean your eyes to see it and warm your heart to feel it' while his old grandmother said ‘It's the root of sorrow.' Pawan could not understand what it exactly was but he came to know one thing that love is not a particular thing as it has many views. Love seemed to him like a mirror. He understood whoever you have inside you and whatever you think inside, everything reflex on it through others. He decided no more asking for anyone as he himself was going to find the meaning of love.

Next day when he was walking by the road, he saw an old man had been sitting in front of his house. Pawan went close to him and hugging him he whispered ‘I love you' in his ears. The old man smiled at him and gave him his blessing. Pawan understood love means Blessing.

In front of his college, there was a bookstore where Pawan went to buy some books with some of his new friends. There they saw a baby child had been sitting at the reception with her mother. The baby was so cute and she was looking all around and finally looked at them with her beautiful and innocent glance. Having adored in his attitude he went to the child. He took her on his lap and kissing on her cheek he said, ‘you are so cute and I love you.' within a second he was both the child and her mother was smiling looking at him. Pawan understood love means Happiness.

In his college campus, there was a garden. One day Pawan saw a friend of him who had been a writer was standing in front of a rose plant. In his hand, there was a bottle of water and he seemed very pleased with looking at a beautiful rose that was sprout on that rose plant. Pawan came close to him and stood beside him. His friend was so lost in the beauty of the rose that he did not notice his presence beside him.

‘What are you looking like that?' Pawan asked. ‘Look, my friend, how beautiful the flower is. You know what? I love it so much' replied his friend without moving his eyes off from that flower. ‘If you love it then why don't you pick it up?' Pawan asked him and this time looking at Pawan he said ‘Had I only liked this flower then I would pick it up to quench my eyes. But no, I love it and therefore I water the plant every day so that it can bear more flowers like this.' Pawan understood love means caring about and something more than liking.

In the village beneath the hill, there was a house where Pawan used to see a lady sitting in front of the door and looking at the way. The lady was waiting for her husband who was a soldier. The house was right beside his old teacher's house so Pawan talks to her many times. From the lady once Pawan came to know that her husband comes for a week after two of three months in the year and all the time she had to stay alone in waiting for him. Pawan thought how happy she could be when she got her husband back to home after a long waiting. One day somehow he came to know that her husband came back last night after the long three months. The lady must be so happy he thought because finally, her long waiting was now over. Pawan wanted to see how happy she was and therefore she went her home next morning. His expectation was right. When he visited her house, he never saw her being so happy like that before. Her husband came back and it seemed she conquered the whole world. Seeing Pawan the lady took him to the dining table and insisted him to have lunch with her husband.

After a few days again Pawan went to visit her house and found him weeping sitting at the corner of her house. Pawan could not understand what happened. He went to her and asked why she was crying like that. As a reply she faltered, ‘I've waited for him months after months only to see him once and now he came. I've no strength left enough to cherish that long patience again. It really burns me inside. I love him so much, something more than my world. He is going to leave soon and I'm so afraid that I'll have to go through hell in waiting for him again.' Pawan understood what she said. Now he understood love means fear also.

Whatever he did and saw, he thought the meaning of love revealed to him. Having so much excitement with him he went to his grandmother and told her that he found the real meaning of love. His grandmother asked how and he said everything. After hearing all that she gave a contemptuous smile and said, ‘they are not called love my dear. They are merely the bricks of the house love built. Love is a mysterious fire. The world runs by the warm of it. You are living well as long as you keep distance between you and the fire. As you start going close to it, the meaning of life reveals to you. And as soon as you jump into it, suffering begins.'

Again the boy could not understand what his grandmother was saying. He was pleased after finding the meaning of love by his own but again his grandmother disordered his thought. A fire of wonder was burning inside him and he was gravely wanted to know what the love exactly was.

He did not have to wait so long. Within a year love came in his life. His teacher was right. Love was close to him. Only he had to rub his eyes to see it and some fervent dreams at night that made him realized that his entire existence was being absorbed to someone's affection. That someone was no one but the woman who used to treat him well. It was the woman who had to break the patience in waiting for coming to her soldier husband months after months, suppressing the mountain like desire to fill the void in her inside that her husband had always been failed to fill it.

The woman was almost seven years older than Pawan was. As her house was beside his old teacher's house and by the way of his college he used to see her sitting in front of her house every time he passed by her home. Sometimes when Pawan had time in his hand, he came to her and made some conversation. He had a great heart and soul. In his vicinity, the woman always felt better and her loneliness used to go away. Under the innocent fondness, the woman built a great possession towards Pawan beyond his awareness. Every day she was standing at the door in waiting to see his going and coming and every time he would come to talk to her for a few minutes seeing her standing.

Pawan had neither seen that mysterious fire nor he felt fervent of it in his heart until the day came in his life when the smoke of that mysterious fire brought the smell of love to him. It was the day his life changed forever. It was the day he had to adieu the puerility from his life and welcomed the adulthood. It was the day the veil of all his childish imagination tore off and the meaning of life started to reveal to him. Love was so close to him, now that his eyes were cleaned and the heart got warmed, he could see it and feel it.

It was raining since the morning and she was found standing at the door waiting to see him going. She knew Pawan must go by the road as he never missed going to his college. Today she had another plan. Her long expectation became shorter and this time it was not for her husband, it was for Pawan. Today she did not want him to go to his college leaving her behind with the romantic ambiance around and the hungry desire inside her. Today she wanted to have him so close and adore him all day long in her room under the heavy rain outside. She forgot everything. She forgot that she was someone's legal property who was far away to fulfill her wishes, dreams, and desires.

Standing in front of the door she had been waiting for his sight when she saw him going having an umbrella on his head. By his pace, it seemed he was a little tardy in catching his college today. He did not look back to her house today until she called him aloud. Pawan went to her and saw the shadow of a hungry summer sun was peeking through the clouds on her face. She held his hand and dragged him inside. Pawan did not react. She made him sit on the sofa and started caressing her hands around his body and across his face and chest passionately. He did not make her stop. Now she started flicking her fingers through his hair. He did not protest. His stillness was craving her desire higher. Now keeping her hands paused, she started doing with her lips. It seemed an experienced hunter was hunting a wolf cub. He was enjoying it too. She could not touch a man's body after her husband left. She had a thirst inside him that she wanted to quench. She collapsed over him and grasped him tightly like a precious illusive treasure not to let it go. Immediately, all her feelings of impotence, fragility, and insecurity are replaced by one of immense euphoria.

The creature that had been dormant inside and he was unconscious about it, now it had to wake up by her action. For the first time in his life, he saw it and he was totally amazed. From one moment to the next, the creature was turning into a beast and they hunted each other with the weapon of Eros without shedding blood.

His grandmother was right. It was a well of fire and slowly he was going close to the edge of it. Their emotions were blind. They had been floating together through the strong passion without knowing where it was going. Like every mortal object in the world, their passion had to be broken. Her husband came back being injured. He got a bullet in his right leg on the battlefield so he decided not to go to the battle again. He left the service and decided to make a farmhouse where he and his wife would work together.

The woman seemed not happy having his husband back but she had to pretend to be. At the night when they had been doing sex on the bed after so many days, she was missing Pawan. Her husband had become old and he had not that passion like Pawan had. She was not getting satisfied, it was making her bored. She needed that violent passion, she needed Pawan to eat her up like a pet beast.

Pawan was sitting on the sofa in her room bending his head down like a master in a great anticipation. And she was sitting next to him like a felon who seemed not want to have any punishment for still doing a terrible crime. Her husband came out from inside and saw Pawan sitting there. He loved Pawan and always considered and fond him like his younger brother. Looking at him, her husband smiled and left for his work for making the farmhouse. As soon as her husband left, she took Pawan inside and made love. Pawan did not want to do it but he had to sullener himself to the famishment of her desire. She wanted him all day long. She wanted him to be with him and get that higher satisfaction whenever she wanted.

Pawan thought if the relation he had with her was love, then he understood the love built with two thinks, affection and desire and the consciousness lies under two of them. The power of desire is always bigger than the power of affection. Affection becomes violence when the desire opens its eyes. And all the consciousness rush away when that desire puts the violent spike on the chest of love. It's the time love shows the sign of adieu.

She seemed so pleased today after having the great satisfaction from Pawan and succeeded to rupture all that unamused stimulation being with her husband in these few days. Making him naked and covering him by herself on the bed, she whispered in his ears that she loved him and wanted him forever. Her passionate voice made him say the same. Nobody can deny that passionate voice of his woman when their souls were getting mingled together. Right then they heard someone was knocking at the door from outside. It was her husband. Both of them were naked inside. From the other side knocking begun increased and they could hear he was shouting to open the door. They put on their dress in hurry and looked at each other. Pawan seemed frozen with fear but she was not. She got up and opened a storage locker at the bedside. From there she pulled a gun out. It was the gun of her husband. Now she gave it to Pawan. They looked at each other's eyes again. His eyes were reflecting the shadow of apprehension and his gaze looked like a wounded deer but hers were different. There seemed no afraid in her eyes to get caught. Her gaze seemed vulnerable as it was reflecting the shadow of a kind of revenge and hunger. His heartbeat increased looking at her eyes. He understood what she wanted him to do. The door opened and the gun roared. Love made him kill someone. He understood love was also cruel.

Finally, he had to jump into that mysterious fire. He had to marry her and started living with her. The farmhouse her husband started making, Pawan made it complete by his own and together they had been working on it. By the time he could see a great change occurred to her. Her tendency of having sex and being satisfied was increasing faster and he was getting tired to feed her hunger. She often visited at the farmhouse and spent most of the time at the stable. Pawan thought she liked those horses and donkeys and loved to take care of them but his guessed proved wrong. One day in looking for her, Pawan entered the farmhouse and saw something awful. He saw his wife was lying on the pile of hay and a little donkey was on her. She was feeding her hunger by a little creature. That day neither he said anything to her nor did she ask him about it. Love became nauseated to him.

As the days were passing, her tendencies of hunger were increasing more and more. She became shameless, she became aimless and most of all she became soulless. Every time she was seeking opportunities to extinguish her fire of libido. Pawan understood now he would not able to make her satisfy like before because now her hunger became huge. He realized she reached out of his control.

Pawan had become a good business person. Within a few months, he made the business larger and extended the farmhouse. With the land around, he added some more workers also. They were young and well built. Without Pawan's conscious her eyes went over them. She started talking to them and having fun by making laughter with some jokes. 

Once afternoon having no sign of her around, Pawan was looking for her. He could not find her at home nor did he find her talking to those workers. Unable to find her anywhere he concluded where she would be and he came to the stable. Standing outside he could hear her moaning. No doubt she was having a great pleasure but something hit his mind. As far as he could remember, she never moaned like that. It was different, it was harder. He went closer and peeked inside through the fence gap. What he saw inside he could not believe his own eyes. She was totally nude and three naked men were around her. He knew them. They were the new workers of their farmhouse. He did not do anything. Love betrayed him. He could not understand what he had to do then. To him, love became priceless, love became hatred.

That day at night lying beside him, she was trying to make him lured to make love. Pawan knew tomorrow he had to see the same thing again. Those three men would again have the taste of her flesh and he had to see that through the fence gap. He could have thrown those three workers but it would not be a right thing to do. It was not their fault, they were men. If he threw them out, she would find someone else as she could do anything to feed her hunger.

The meaning of life was being revealed to him. The words his old teacher and his grandmother said about love were now clear to him. Love made his heart open and the time helped him to be mature. Everything his old teacher and his grandmother said about love and life was right but yet something was wrong. His experience of life brimmed over them. They had never been in the lesson of life Pawan was going through now. He understood to make your life easy and happy you need to learn to sacrifice and sometimes give up a few things you fear to lose.

Lying beside her she was trying to make him lured but he stayed static. Now she was running her fingers so passionately across his face to the chest but still, he kept himself tranquil. She got up, clenched his hair and sat over him. An intense blazing like sensation ran through his veins. She drew her hands down and started to strip his trouser. The sensation lit the fire in his whole body. All of a sudden he reversed her down and ascended over her. He bit her lips like a beast and went inside her. There was no passion to be found in his movement, there was only revenge. A revenge to make him cruel, a revenge to destroy his innocence. His beastlike movement was giving her more pleasure. She was moaning and clenching his back tightly to take him inside more and more. Pawan knew this hunger of her would completely destroy him. He knew the day she would see his ability to feed her hunger would decrease, she would find someone else and do the same thing she did with her husband. He already made a sin for killing a good person who did no harm to him and now this realization was scraping his inside every moment. Pawan looked at her face and saw her eyes were closed with a great concupiscence. Slowly he ran his hands under the pillow and pulled out the gun with which he killed her sinless husband. He put the gun on her mouth and down there he went inside her. For a fraction of a second heaven descended to them, they were done. She opened her eyes and he pulled the trigger. Everything was over. For the first time in many months, he exhaled the breath of real peace.