Swati

The alarm in my brain always wakes me up before the alarm set in my mobile begins to ring every morning. For the past eighteen years I’m following the same routine of waking very early in the morning and then starting my daily routine. Before I left the bed I looked at Eva for a moment and saw her sleeping soundly and peacefully. Her mobile is lying under her hand. I gently pulled it out and kept it on the table. It is a costly gift from my brother Shekhar after she scored highest mark in the school final exams. At this moment this touch screen is much precious to her than any other around her. I’ve seen her chatting for hours with her friend Rajeev, the only son of my childhood friend Rani. I feel they love each other and I would be very happy if they get married. A sweet couple they would make. I even asked Eva about the depth of her relation with him but she says she wishes to complete her studies and bag a decent job before marrying someone. Varun doesn’t show interest neither in his daughter’s studies nor her thought of being independent financially before marriage. He is just interested in Auyush, our son and future. I’m not sure why these thoughts often come in my mind nowadays. A cuckoo started singing in the mango tree beside the boundary wall. I’m getting late. I came down from the bed. Now I’ve lots of chores to complete before she gets up and get ready for college.

“Ma is my breakfast ready?” Eva showed up in the kitchen. “Yes dear. Go and sit, I’m coming” She moved away. I filled the plate with pooris and dum aloo and placed it before her. She said “Ma will you nosh me?”

I smiled; Eva still wishes that her mom will feed her. I fulfilled her wish as I still feel I didn’t do my responsibilities towards her. She left for college after breakfast. After she left I came to Auyush’s room. He is still in bed though not asleep. He is doing something with his mobile. I wished him “Good morning beta” but he didn’t respond. Maybe he is busy with something. I didn’t say anything more and turned to go out of the room. Suddenly Ayush asked “Mom where is dad?”

I remembered Varun had left for the market. I replied “He has gone for the market”

“Oh,... did he take his cellphone?”

“Yes”

He dialled Varun at once and said “Dad please bring mutton for today’s lunch and dinner”

After placing his order he said “Mom I’ve invited Chandrani for today’s lunch. Hope dad won’t object?”

I’m quite sure Varun don’t like son’s girlfriend to visit this home often but he won’t display his objection before him. I had to manage the situation by saying “That’s very good. When will she arrive here?”

Auyush replied “I’m going to receive her from railway station at nine thirty”

“Then you should get ready. It’s already eight fifteen”

“I know mom, don’t you worry”

I left the room and went to the kitchen. This is the place I’ve chose for myself after marriage. Did I choose or was forced into choosing it? I can’t say! I was a working woman (worked as a nurse) when Varun gave me his proposal of marriage. I didn’t know him until then, just watched him trailing me when I went to work. I didn’t wish anyone to shadow me so I confronted him one day. I asked direct “I’ve watched you stalking me for past few days. May I know the reason of it?”

He replied very casually “I wish to marry you”

I was very much surprised. The proposal was very sudden towards me. I answered “I can’t answer you at this moment. When you have a marriage proposal then go and discuss with my elders. After they give their opinion then I’ll give out my choice”

He nodded and left. I felt I could squeeze out his high spirit. But no, I was wrong. He immediately met my parents and elder brother and placed his proposal before them. When I returned home the next morning after night shift my young sister Swaha said “Dii, there’s a great news for you. Your prince charming had come to ask for your hand” I looked at her awe. Mother was standing near she said “Swaha let her get fresh first then...” She stopped mom by saying “Ok ok” and went to her room.

My father beckoned me in the drawing room after breakfast and said to me all that had happened after I had left for nursing home previous night. Then he asked me “Do you know the boy? He said he had asked for your hand but you had said that you will give your decision after he had spoke to us”

I said everything that had happened. Baba said “Well you should know about the members of his house too before taking any decision. He is the youngest son of Late Visheshwar Ghosh and Late Madhuri Ghosh. All of his elder brothers and sisters are married and live separately. Varun’s bhabi (second brother’s wife) died a year ago leaving their four year old son behind. This boy now lives with his uncle i.e. Varun as his father had married again. So if you think of accepting his request then you have to take care of this boy also being his mother”

My elder brother Sundar said “He works in a poultry farm which means his monthly income isn’t very handsome. And he has a condition too. He don’t want his wife to work outside after marriage”

Ma said “The boy is good in nature. He really loves you so did as asked by you. I feel you will be happy after marrying this person”

Both my father and brother said they don’t have any objection in this proposal but they left it for me to take the decision. I agreed after having some sleepless nights. Many of my colleagues were surprised to know that I’m leaving such a job to marry a person who doesn’t earn much. I did not worry much as I felt he can take our responsibilities quite boldly. After marriage I became to homemaker of this Ghosh residence and mother of Auyush.

Everything was OK until I became pregnant and delivered a cute daughter. After Eva’s birth I fell ill physically. After I fell ill fear captured my mind and I felt that I won’t be able to take care of my daughter as I already have a son and my husband don’t earn much. I felt helpless and said everything to my ma when she came to visit me and my daughter. She comforted me by offering to bring up my daughter with care until I get well. So from hospital I returned to my home and Eva went to stay with her maternal grandparents. I was surprised that Varun didn’t object at this. After returning home I understood by and by that Varun did not expect a girl child and so was quite happy that I didn’t bring her back home. I was taken aback to know his thought.

My parents and my brother must have understood Varun’s thoughts so they offered to raise my Eva even after I got well. After schooling she returned to my home after seventeen years. Throughout this time I often went to see her but she never came here. Varun accepted her entrance in this house indifferently.

Eva is very annoyed with her father’s conduct. She understands her father love is directed towards her brother and she receives almost none. He declares openly that his son will look after us when we get old. Daughter won’t as she will get married and leave home. Even now Varun asks Auyush’s every needs and wishes before going to the market but it is not the same with Eva. I’m worried with the relationship status of father and daughter after so many years.

At afternoon Eva returned home and found Chandrani. They are good friends and share their minds. While going to their room with the snacks tray I heard Chandra saying “Hey why are you sad?”

Eva replied “No I’m not”

“But you face is revealing your depressed mood. What happened? Won’t you share?”

“Yeah I’m sad. Rajeev is acting as my guardian lately. He slapped me today for nothing. I love him which doesn’t mean he can list the do’s and don’ts for me”

Chandrani replied “Oh these two boys are the same. Your brother too is very possessive of me. He checks my call list finds out with whom I talk much and even talks with my colleagues about my relation with other male co workers. This is very embarrassing. I love him and so tolerate all these”

I was upset. Until now I felt this progressive generation think high for their counterparts but today I could understand their thoughts has not restructured updated like their modern outfit. They still feel the same like the old generation. I left my independence to be caged in love relation. It chained all my duties my thoughts. But I’m amazed to know that my daughter and my would be daughter in law too are taking the same path. Did I fail to show them the right path to follow?

I couldn’t be quiet anymore. I’ll talk with them right now. I’ve to know if love means only surrender to them or respect to each other’s feelings. I know all of the male members of this family will be annoyed with my sudden change and mock my foolhardiness but I’ve decided. I don’t worry about Auyush’s future. He will manage to get a bride but I’ve to show my Eva and Chandrani the worthiness of being a woman not just a mere lover someone’s daughter or sister.