Soulmates

Finally its time... I'm standing in front of a mirror looking at myself, beautifully dressed in my bridal wear going to get married to the man I like, with the full permission of our marriage from our families. A perfect wedding. My face is full of glow and a big smile on my face yet… my eyes couldn't bear this whole thing and couldn't betray the whole world and most importantly me….it's quite confusing right to just know that everything is right but it actually isn't so let's start from where it all began…..

11 years ago 4^th May 2016

Dear diary today I don't even know what to say why it's because of all my friends yes….. I'm talking about my BFFs group. You must be wondering what's wrong? Right, I'll tell you… well remember how last year all of us discussed that we would be sitting together, and just enjoying this whole year together as our group got bigger.. well guess what that was not true!! I mean can you believe it all of it years of friendship just a lie I mean no go ahead and just do anything and it won't affect me right well guess what o my god I have feelings!! Anyway what happened on the first day when I went to the class all of my friends were already sitting in pairs and when I asked them if I can sit with them then they just simply said no….. and I was devastated if it wasn't for the new girl Akshita then I would have been sitting alone… then they excluded me from the group so even I moved on and guess another crazy thing, my mortal enemy, Nilesh and I actually started talking and I went with the boys group and they all were just so damn nice and without even realizing they soon became the cause of my happiness so yea right now I'm with Ansh, Mahesh, Nitin and Nilesh and this is my new real BFFs group also known as the backbenchers and I'm sure It is the start of a new adventure……{and believe me it was}

7^th July 2016

Oh my god you wouldn't believe what happened today well its become an everyday habit of me and Nilesh just pulling the leg of our science teacher Mrs. Nishita Yadav and no believe me we are not "the bad students" but in fact our teacher usually just punishes the whole class even when the mistake is just done by one student! Seriously who does that … so we decided that we just can't get scolded for not doing anything we would get scolded for doing something. So yeah well today as usual we decided to come late to her class and so we were on the stairs when Nilesh just started dancing while singing "gulabi aankhey " then I continued "jo Teri dekhi" then he continued "Sharabi ye dil" and then me "ho Gaya" then he ran down the stairs and came very close to me and said "sambhalo mujhko o mere yaaro" and then I just gestured that look it yourself and said "Shambhala mushkil ho Gaya" and guess what Nishita ma'am was standing there looking at us the whole time and when we realized this we literary couldn't stop laughing!

 

23^rd September 2016

Hey, diary finally half-yearly exams are over!!! And I got really good marks and as usual, Nilesh totally cheated from me and guess what our French teacher caught him! And the funny part is…. Actually the whole thing is funny there was a question in the paper asking "do you wear skirts?" and I wrote yes and naturally Nilesh just copied and the teacher actually read his answer out loud in the class after checking!!!! I couldn't even control my laughter…. then Well for the starters we as in Nilesh and I became BFFs and we now hang out together all the time at school and believe me my birthday party brought us close together like super BFFs!! And again we had to disturb Nishita ma'am so when she was teaching us the reproduction chapter Nilesh asked her ma'am why aren't there any activities in this chapter? She got angry and said what kind of activities do you want in this chapter! So he replied ma'am I was talking about the budding fusion of hydra and all so ma'am said oh ok we'll see and then Nilesh said ma'am what did you think?! And yes she got furious……

1^st October 2016

Hey, diary today was Nilesh's birthday and I got a gift for him his favorite book just like he did for me! But its delivery is due so yeah but as a compensation I taught him and Ansh how to play the keyboard and they actually took interest and liked it a lot then we sang as usual and the whole class was again hooting and just saying yeah Nilesh and I make a perfect couple well as we have got to this topic why not talk about it well you know the whole school just wants to know that if we are in a relationship…. And we are there like Nah we're just friends but literally no one believes us so today we decided to put up a show we were flirting publicly and saying I love you and stuff the whole day and then finally in front of the whole class I tied him a rakhi and believe me everyone was disappointed but I actually never tied him that rakhi only to Mahesh and Nitin because Ansh and Nilesh just refused and made keychains out of the rakhis!

 Anyway then again during Dipali ma'am's period she has to scold me just like every day especially about me and Nilesh so yeah as usual today I was doing my assignment that Nilesh came showed me a piece of paper and said hands up and I just ignored him so Dipali ma'am noticed and asked me to stand up! So I got furious and said I mean are you serious the whole class was going wild just like zoo animals and out of all you just noticed me who was actually doing her assignment and not making paper planes out of it!!!! Or at least that's what I thought I said but instead when she asked what were you doing I just told her I was doing my assignment and Nilesh disturbed me so she said why does he only find one girl "you" to disturb out of all the girls in the class and again the class started to laugh……

30^th October 2016

Hey diary Today I saw a dream in which Nilesh killed me so I was really mad at him and wasn't talking to him the full day and he was just coming around me asking what's wrong and I was just ignoring him so finally he held my hand tightly but gently and stopped me as I was about to walk past him and said what's wrong please tell me I'm sorry and so I told him and we both started laughing and then he said sorry again even though it wasn't his mistake not at all…..

4^th April 2017

Hey diary Today is the day when we separate obviously not literary but we change classes as all of the boys have taken Hindi and I took French as second language in 9^th class and so for the last day I brought dairy milk chocolates for Nilesh and Ansh and we went away then I still kept meeting them during breaks and all but I was also getting jealous as they got closer to my old BFFs group especially Vaani and I know that I would never except my own jealousy because we all are friends but it actually bothered me a lot and then eventually I got a bit distant as they got close….. even though students still shipped me and Nilesh I couldn't feel his same connection as before towards his old BFF…..

7^th July 2017

Hey, diary Today it started drizzling as I was coming back from the swimming class that I saw Nilesh coming down the stairs and so he asked me if I wanted to go out I said "you crazy! Its raining out there " so he said "exactly my point" so I just smiled and said ok and so we ran out in the heavy rain to get the homework register from the basketball court and as we were standing out there laughing and looking at each other a maid came and shouted "what are you two doing out there" so we just ran past her and towards our classes laughing the whole way there! Then came the scary part the strictest teacher was in my class for an arrangement Giya ma'am but me being the fastest on the spot storyteller got past her beating and scolding but the other kids couldn't……

27^th December 2017

Hey, diary so today I saw a dream in which I was with Nilesh and asked him why couldn't we be in a relationship so he said I want to but there's just one problem there already is someone else in my life and that girl was Vaani…. I just thought of it as a silly dream until today when we were playing truth and dare I asked Nilesh to choose between me and Vaani in rapid-fire and he said Vaani and it really crushed me from inside and it was for the first time my heart ached…… but it was just a dream and I'm overthinking……..right?

4^th April 2019

Hey diary Today I got shifted in my new 11^th standard and guess what all of my old girls BFFs group is back in this class obviously by this time I have forgotten about the fight and stuff but still sometimes seeing them with Nilesh I just get jealous but truly speaking over the last year me and Nilesh have really became close again. Anyways today I saw a boy in my society playing snookers and I was seriously being so overdramatic calling my friends and telling them look he's so damn cue and stuff I mean I have liked 2 guys 4 guys in the past but this one was something else…..

26^th April 2019

Hey diary Today my friend Anushka told me she wanted to talk to that cute snooker guy so we had got his social media ID through my younger brother as he was playing with him and turns out that he was literary living here even before I came in the society and I never knew about him and well as Anushka was now interested in him so I thought of leaving my feelings…..

27^th April 2019

Hey diary so the craziest thing happened today Anushka was going to talk to Ayaan the cute snooker guy but she got scared and so she pushed me in the club first while I was carrying her baby sister and so Ayaan saw me and just pointed at me so I waved my hand and then he assumed that I was Anushka ! apparently they had been talking the day before this and decided that she would go to the club with her sister and wave at him and that's how he would recognize him and so this was the confusion which cleared after almost 3 days!

5^th May 2019

Hay diary so today Anushka told me that she is no longer interested in Ayaan as she thinks he is an introverted person and well Ayaan and I had already become a very close friend during the past few days so then I asked him if he would go for a coffee he said yes and so from today we started hanging out

8^th June 2019

Hey, diary Turns out I and Ayaan have not a lot in common but he is actually a fun person to be with and not an introvert! And so we usually hang out at the club or I drop him till his block and that all stuff…. I mean if it wouldn't have been for Anushka then we might have not met….

7^th July 2019

Hey, diary so today Ayaan left for college and boy we had a lot of fun today like the whole day we hung out together and played guitar and sang songs in the club and then also went for a night walk…. It was magical and then finally before he had to leave we hugged and then he went….

29^th July 2019

Hey, diary so I and Ayaan kept in touch and guess what we came in a relationship!! I was so happy but everyone in school asked me why I'm not with Nilesh but Ayaan as they think that Nilesh and I are soulmates in every way and I don't know why it just sounds right sometimes…

1^st October 2019

Het diary so today I made a surprise cake for Nilesh and yes he was damn happy and later after the cake cutting Mahesh told me that Vaani just proposed Nilesh as a joke but he was extremely happy but when I got a cake for him he actually got emotional now I know that this doesn't mean something but for a brief moment it felt like…. I won…..

6 years later...

2 January 2025

Hey diary so everything is going great and me and Ayaan are very happy together as he is the totally perfect caring and kind guy but today all of a sudden in the middle of the night I got a phone call from Ansh asking ME to come to his house I hurried there and there it was Nilesh with a box of ring…..proposing to Vaani and tears of happiness started running down my eyes and I hugged them both congratulations little did I know that those tears couldn't betray my friends….

29^th march 2025

Hey, diary today it might be one of the saddest days and one of the most unbelievable ones as well now you might ask why? Well that's because today I was crushed and afraid at the same time all these years I might have neglected that how I actually feel and today as I could have I didn't and my whole life I have been fearless because I lived for myself but today it was different I was scared not for me but for someone else and most importantly I lied…. Today was the day we had to leave for Nilesh's wedding in Italy and we were at the station waiting for the train to come that would take us to the airport and as we waited we discussed everything that has happened these past years and the days of our friendship and laughed a lot until Nilesh said I need to ask you something so I said yes what is it so he said I just don't know what to do I'm so happy with Vaani but I just can't seem to make her happy and then it hit me and I snapped out of my dream world it was true he was actually getting married and there was nothing I could do…. So fighting back the tears and the urge to say those three magical words I just told him to do whatever you think will make you and her happy together because its that when the happiness of two people match there are no doubts its effortless and yet seems so thoughtful to do little things that the two of you enjoy together be it long drives or even little conversations on the balcony of your house….. so Nilesh just smiled and said I don't know what I would do without you then he held my hand and said promise me that you will never leave me and finally my tears rolled out so I just looked down not showing the tears and said I promise. Then the train came right on time and he started walking towards the train and me following him but as he stepped in I didn't come in and the doors shut close he started banging on the door and his muffled shouting voice saying where are you going and I just kept walking not even turning back once because his happiness was the last thing I would want to ruin by letting him know my feelings….i had blocked all contacting with him afterwards...

Present-day

And that was the last time I ever saw him or spoke to him and here I am remembering him during my wedding day that my best friend Akanksha came in and said you can fool the world even yourself but not me and I said it can't be true I really like Ayaan but she replied you might like Ayaan a lot but you love Nilesh and I felt that…. So I opened my diary started reading it and at the end page tears fell on the page but those weren't mine as I turned back I saw him standing there with his eyes full of tears and saying you finally turned and before I could say anything else he said that after reaching Italy I and Vaani broke up a few weeks later cause we realized that maybe we were not meant for each other but the main thing that i realized was that each and everything I did for her happiness every attempt to make her happy just wasn't working out after a while because my heart was just set somewhere else... i missed you in my life and these things i did for her i realized that they wouldn't make her happy but you... because those were the things that you and I liked…. And then I was just thinking about my marriage and stuff and was in a very tough dilemma but Nilesh he just gave me a warm smile and hugged me that smile said everything will be alright don't worry….. and all of our friends were like its finally that time!!!!

So I would say that Nilesh and I were never meant to be. Now, why you may ask, it's because meant to be sounds too easy it's us who chose each other through all ups and downs and even though there was the distance between us our souls and hearts were always connected and thus we were soulmates……