Austin Ochoa

Drama Romance

4.0  

Austin Ochoa

Drama Romance

Love Gone Wrong

Love Gone Wrong

4 mins
244



You were a curiosity I could not ignore. Something was pulling me into you. It was so powerful I didn’t even understand the power then. How warm and comfortable it was to first be with you. Like I had been missing something my whole life. I tried to pace myself with you but failed miserably. You became a constant in my life more than you already had been. My whole universe was changing to revolve around you. I felt as if I would never feel that empty alone feeling ever again. Not because you told me I wouldn’t but because how you made me feel. In a way I felt loving you was wrong because of everything going on around us. It may have been the wrong thing after all, but it was something I could never control. I was at a point in my life where I had nothing to hold on to. Then you came along and grounded me to this world. You took my fucked up heart in to your hands and you protected it. You held me in your arms when others were scared to even touch me.


The love and compassion you showed me made me fall for you even more. No one has ever genuinely loved me the way you have. When we first started hanging out people would warn me of you. That you were crazy and that you were to not be trusted. That your actions were so wild and unpredictable that I had to be careful. I couldn’t see it then even when you were right in front of me. Maybe I refused to see the bad in you even though I knew it existed. I saw you for who you wanted people to see you. In return you just loved me, nothing more.


First few months everything was great. The perfect relationship because we loved each other. I always felt safe with you like nothing in the world could touch me. Until you were the one I became afraid of. One morning you woke up in a rage of jealously screaming and shouting at me. I woke up scared and afraid of what was going on. I didn’t understand what you were so angry about at first. You were crying and so livid. I will never forget the look in your eyes. It took all morning to calm you down and when I did you still wouldn’t let me leave. I felt suffocated and trapped in your room. I was also for the first time afraid of you. I had done nothing wrong but because you assumed I did you turned into a monster. You would be fine for a while but you would always turn into that monster. After that our relationship would go from on to off. Never ever daring to actually care or show love towards each other. It was like we were trying to see who didn’t care the most. Even though we both were dying inside for one another. A pattern began to form in result of all this.


Time would pass and I would forget about the monster moments we would have in our relationships. I would be fooled by your charm and good heart towards me. Always forgetting how mean you could be. I would fall back into you head first not knowing where I would land, not even caring. Always the same thing would happen. You would make me feel like I was the most important person in the world. Then you would make me feel like I should question my existence. I can’t blame you though. I really do blame myself for giving you that power. The power to affect me so much in a positive and negative way.


Just because you loved me didn’t mean I was better than anyone else. It did not put me in this special category where I could break all the rules and walk on water. Even if it made me feel that way. Just because you didn’t want me at times it didn’t mean that I wasn’t worth it. It did not mean that less and that no one could ever love me again. As much as I want to blame you for tearing out my heart I let you. I put you on this pedestal as if you were a God. So when you would do things to hurt me or make me feel bad about myself it turned into the biggest deceit of my life. In the end all I felt is that I wasn’t good enough for you. That I wasn’t attractive enough for you. The way you treated me made me question everything about me. I am the silly one for giving you that power and for not protecting myself. I should have known better than to foolishly believed in you, in us. Nothing is certain in this world, not even love.


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