Grains Of Sand_Chapter 2

During his jog, the next day, he thought about the class – everything about the class, about the instructor, the way she talked and moved….And there she was standing opposite him.

‘Hi,’ Mini waved at him.

He changed the course and started jogging again. She too jogged along with him, but he was fast for her.

‘Hey, Dancer, wait.’

Ankit stopped, walked to her. ‘Leave me alone.’ It was more of a warning.

‘What did you say your name was?’ Mini asked.

‘You did not give me a chance to speak.’ He replied continuing the jogging but at a slower pace now.

‘But I gave you a chance to show your dance.’ She replied.

‘Seriously?’ He jogged faster now and disappeared into Aunty Sandhya’s house.

The next day, she was there, again, waiting for him.

He stopped a few paces from her, ’what do you want? I am not joining your class?’

‘That’s bad. I lost a promising student.’ She giggled.

He sulked, rolled his eyes and continued his jogging.

Mini followed him. ‘I was wondering if you can teach me to dance.’

He stopped, turned back, ‘Why would I do that?’

‘Because I would teach you Yoga.’

He laughed, ‘I told you, I don’t want to learn from you.’

The pursuit continued, almost a week. She had Aunt Sandhya on her side, and Aunt Sandhya requested Ankit to teach her.

‘Come on Now. I am not teaching that chatterbox. I want my ears intact.’ Aunt Sandhya smiled and left the room only to bring the topic back again at dinner.

The day after that, Ankit gave up. Mini, who looked much like her name, 5.2 in height, slender, brown complexion, bursting with energy always, talking fast and loud, finally persuaded Ankit to teach her.

‘I told you, I don’t want to learn Yoga in return.’

‘I will pay your fees.’

‘Why don’t you learn from someone else?’

‘I liked the way you danced. I loved your style. I have learnt Kathak. I learned basic contemporary, but I want to learn Salsa.’

‘Salsa?’ He looked at her with suspicion.

‘I know you are a certified trainer in Salsa. Aunt Sandhya told me. Please. Please.’

‘Okay. But one condition?’

‘What is that?’

‘You will talk less and…’

‘And?’

Ankit wanted to say ‘and move less when you talk.’ But he said, ‘Nothing.’

He continued his jogging, and he turned his head back to see her. She was dancing and clapping her hands like a little girl who was just promised a beautiful gift for her birthday.

Dancing classes were scheduled just after the yoga class finished. Few people had registered along with Mini. Ankit started attending the yoga classes, and slowly he started to enjoy the class. Mini was talkative, but if you could ignore her excessive talking, she was a good yoga teacher, and her lectures slowly made sense to him. Mini was a certified yoga trainer. She liked to mix different elements in her training. Dancing was one of them.

Ankit was happy to dance again. While he taught the students, he danced too. He danced almost after eight months. He had given up dancing when he was diagnosed with cancer. And then the pain was too much. He had stopped feeling music for a long time now. He started to feel music again. He started to breathe again. Meditation helped him to control his thoughts and fear.

Extra classes started after regular classes. It was mostly Ankit and Mini, practising their moves and trying lifts. Mini was a quick learner, and since she was trained in yoga, her body was flexible. They danced to the lyrics of Quimbara and pyar ki kahani suno. It was almost a month and a half now, Ankit had forgotten about his tests. A phone call from his mother reminded him that the tests were overdue. And that night he did not sleep. Next day he did not go to class. He did not learn. He did not teach. He stared at the ceiling the whole day. Everything moved, the fan, the birds outside, the leaves, while he was static. He could not release himself free from fear. He said to himself, thanks mum for the reminder.

Mini visited him the next evening wondering what happened to him. They had a casual chat, and he ensured her that he would come to the class the next day. Her behaviour was very different. She did not see him in the eye when she talked. She spoke less as if something bothered her. She kept on tucking her hair behind her ear. She wanted to say something. She started to say and then abruptly stopped or said something totally irrelevant. Mini then did something that startled Ankit. She hurriedly kissed him on his lips and ran away. It was not a kiss. It was a peck. It felt different from all the other kisses and all the nights he had spent. It was an honest peck. It felt only love. He could spend his entire life with that kind of pecks. But the question was how much life was left? With 60 per cent odds against him, he was not qualified for love and relationships.

Mini was absent for the next three days. One of her students informed him that she had a bad fever. He missed her. The dance felt mechanical. The rhythm felt still. He could not get the peck out of his mind. It lingered like an after-shave.

He had his tests done. The results were negative. He smiled at the reports happy to stay in the 40 per cent zone. After a long time, he had dreams – dreams of dancing, dreams of kisses, dreams of moonlight, dreams of pain, dreams of chemo, dreams of beaches. He held sand in his fist. The sand slipped through his fingers and he woke up feeling dejected.

He bought a beautiful bouquet of orchids and a get-well-soon card and paid a visit to his teacher – a teacher teaching him to live again.

Mini’s parents received him with warmth. Apparently, Mini spoke high of him to her parents. He could make that out. He gave her the bouquet and the card. And sat down on a stool next to her bed. Both of them were silent for some time, staring at the ceiling, on the floor and occasionally at each other. Mini played with the flowers while Ankit tried to frame sentences in his head to put his stand properly without being misunderstood and without hurting her. But it was difficult. None of the sentences in his mind made sense to him.

‘I Love you.’ Mini spoke suddenly clutching the bouquet and caressing the flowers.

‘I know.’ He said calmly. He liked her but he was not in a situation to reciprocate. He was still struggling to find words, right words, but there weren’t any.

‘Do you have a girlfriend?’ Mini asked.

‘I had.’ He replied.

‘What happened?’

‘She left me. She was not ready to spend her life with a time bomb that can explode anytime.’

Mini was perplexed. She did not understand anything. He explained to her, ‘I was diagnosed with cancer 10 months back. I am fine now but there are 60 per cent chances of cancer again brewing up. And this time my body might not take it and, I can die. She felt the odds of me dying is more and so she decided to build a future with someone else. Can’t blame her.’

Mini looked at him taking a moment to digest what he had just said. He smiled at her but she did not smile back. Her eyes filled with tears but she controlled herself.

‘I would not do that.’ She said finally after all that he said sank in her.

‘It is not a good choice, you know. You wake up suddenly one day and find out that I have cancer and the endless visits to hospitals, therapies. Cancer not only kills the patient but also the patient’s family. I have seen my parents undergo all the pain and misery along with me. They still live in fear. I guess, more than me.’

‘That is an awful way to put it.’ Mini refused to accept what he said, and Ankit shrugged his shoulders.

‘Wish I could do something for you.’ She said with an intense feeling looking into his eyes and smiling at him.

‘No one can do anything. That is how life is. A packet of bitter-gourd juice.’

‘Adding sugar helps.’ She replied winking at him.

Ankit smiled. Mini held his hand, ‘I wish I could do something. Maybe offer something to the devil or God in return for cancer not returning back. Perhaps, my legs or hands.’

He held her hand locking his fingers in hers, ‘No. please. You need them especially when you talk.’ You can probably offer your hair. Your high pony is the clumsiest thing. It sways like a pendulum when you lecture. So best, get rid of it.’

‘That is mean’, she threw a pillow at him and, both of them laughed.

Her words touched his heart. But he was not sure where this was all going. There was no future with him. He wanted to say no, but his heart had a different say. He wanted her, more than anything else; more than anyone else.