Gods Will Hath No Why!

“Are you going to the office?” Yamanaka asked Nina. She looked at her watch – it was just 3 minutes after 4:00 in the evening. She thought for a second and said, “No, I’ll go home; my husband is here; we’re planning to go out on a date; I’ll see you Monday; Ja Mata” she winked at him and left for home.

Nina and Yamanaka were colleagues; they had gone to Osaka for a business meeting. She had left home early that morning at 7:00 and wanted to be home to be with her dearest Krish. She had taken up this Japan assignment only a year back and was living alone in Tokyo. It was a career move for her and Krish had been very supportive. He was visiting her for 3 weeks; they had agreed that he would visit her every quarter for 3-4 weeks during her stint in Japan. 

Yamanaka said then he would go home as well. Haneda Airport to her residence in North-East Tokyo was about 50 minutes by train. It was late October; autumn had set in and the evening breeze was cool; Trees on Tokyo avenues had begun to turn into shades of yellow, rust and orange – a colorful mélange that looked pretty like a painting on canvas. “We should plan a day trip over the weekend to visit the hills in Mitaka before Krish goes back.” she thought, “it should be prettier there”. It was still too early to see the famous autumn sights in Kyoto.

Days were beginning to get shorter; dusk had fallen by the time she got off at her station; she started walking home. Her mind was always active – thinking of the next moment, the next day or the next hour! Now, she was thinking of where she and Krish would go that evening – she wanted something special and romantic. After 30 years of marriage, their love for each other had matured to a different level; physical distance never bothered them – just the knowledge that they were there for each other was enough. But a soft look, a tender touch of the hand and even a call from him could still stir emotions and make her heart beat faster.

As she walked, Nina tried Krish's number again. Same Japanese message after a few rings! She disconnected the phone. It must have been the 9^th or 10^th time she would have called since morning. “What a strange man!” she thought. “So careless about his phone; what is the point of keeping a mobile if you won’t carry it with you; what if I need him in an emergency and can’t reach him!!” – she kept muttering to herself. She was quite used to Krish's habit of not answering his mobile. It was an irritant to her but she never complained. She never did not for any of his other inconvenient habits either. She loved him unconditionally.

Suddenly her phone rang. It was Ishaan – their son. He lived with Krish in India. After finishing his MS in the US, he had had a working stint for a couple of years in a US-based start-up; he wanted to be an entrepreneur like his father but he had not really made up his mind. He was still exploring; so as an interim, joining dad in his auto business seemed like a good idea. But his heart was not in it. Automotive parts did not fascinate him; his passion was Nature.

“Mom, Dad doesn’t share anything with me!” he cribbed into the phone. Ishaan was getting a little impatient with what he thought was Krish's unwillingness to discuss their new business idea. But Nina knew that wasn’t true – Krish would think deep before discussing with Ishaan.

 “No Ishaan, that is not correct; he is working on it. You know dad will share when he is ready for it” Nina defended Krish. She never liked anyone complaining against him- not even Ishaan.

Krish had recently quit from his Managing Director position due to a conflict with the Partners. All his life, he had worked painstakingly for his business which had come a long way in the near thirty years of its existence. Changing the business environment had begun to impact their business as well – their own operational costs were getting higher, customers were squeezing margins and new technologies needed greater investments. So, he had been requesting their Joint Venture Partner to invest in a new technology that would help them secure their future business. But the JV Partner was interested in backing up another vendor. Unfortunately, his own partners in the business were not keen to invest either; so he quit. Just like that! He often said, ”Writing is on the wall! If we don’t invest in this, we’ll lose our business and our factory will have to shut down. There are 200 families who are dependent on us and I cannot bear to see them perish; if I can’t do anything for them, I have no right to be a leader”. He would often get stressed thinking about the future prospects of their automotive business. He was a brilliant engineer and was well known in the industry - so his prediction for the business was not a mere apprehension.

As Nina approached her building, she looked up to see if there was light in the house – was Krish at home or out somewhere – without his phone. The house seemed dark. “Ishaan, I’m getting into the lift now; so let me call you back. Dad and I will talk to you together later tonight”; she hung up and got into the lift. Her flat was on the 14^th Floor. She liked being there – it was a company rented flat with two bedrooms and a drawing-dining. Quite spacious for a small family and since she lived all by herself except when the family was visiting her, it was very comfortable for her.

She put the key into the door to open – it didn’t strike her to ring the bell; she was used to opening the door by herself. The key turned and she pulled the door open. The house was dark and silent. “Oh, so he has indeed gone out and left his phone again!” thinking in her mind she stepped inside and shut the door behind her. She walked into her drawing-room and her eyes fell on Krish's reading glasses on the sofa. “Strange! Why would he leave his glasses if he has gone out!” she wondered. “Krish!” She called out. She peeped into the bedroom. The bed wasn’t made – the blankets were lying in a heap on the bed as she had left them in the morning - a fleeting feeling of irritation rose; she called out again,” Krish, are you in the bathroom?” Still silence. “Where could he be?” she thought and turned towards the kitchen. And then she saw him.

She rushed and called out,” Krish, why are you sleeping here? Get up, you’ll catch a chill. The floor is cold”. There was no response. She knelt down and shook him and she froze. He was stiff like wood. A silent cry ripped through her soul, “Krish!! Don’t leave me Please!” She looked up at the picture of Lord Krishna in the kitchen and pleaded quietly, “Please Krishna, don’t do this to me! Please!” and then, “Why?” There was only a deafening silence around her. And then she felt the chill that sent a shiver up her spine that passed through her heart and condensed into the pools of her eyes - forever!