Feelings - Part 2

Sanjay and Rahul used to stay in a PG in Kolkata. Both of them knew each other since college, so when they moved to the same city for a job, staying together was an automatic choice.

Although Sanjay wanted to display no interest in Sanjana anymore, he couldn't help check out her social media profiles. On most of them, he had been blocked, so he tried creating anonymous profiles to keep a tab on her. Rahul caught him doing this once.

"Hey! Whose profile is that?"

Caught unawares, Sanjay quickly pressed alt-tab on his keyboard to move to a different screen.

"What? Where?"

"You know what I am talking about."

"Was just curious. Am allowed to do this, right?"

"You are so bloody stuck, my friend. How long would you keep looking at the closed door?"

"What closed door? I am not knocking! Just checking if there are guests inside!"

"Hahahaha!! You moron! In plain language, what you are doing is called stalking!"

"No!"

"Yes of course! Both of you decided to close the chapter and you tell me often to not even bring up her name. Who are you fooling, man?"

Sanjay went silent for a moment.

"I cannot help it, man. Trust me I have tried. But the memories we made together are just so indelible."

Rahul got up and spontaneously hugged him.

"It's okay. But my friend, this isn't helping you, at all. I have her number. Do you wish to call her?"

"If I call her, that will be perceived as my weakness and she will have an upper hand. In any case, there is a good chance that she will either thrash me or refuse to talk. Would that not aggravate the situation further?"

"No risk, no gain. Remember? At least that way, you will know where you stand. It's been more than 5 years, right? Time is a magic potion."

"Okay let me think about it."

Meanwhile, Sanjay went back to the screen he had been hiding from Rahul and refreshed the page for some reason.

"The profile is not available."

This anonymous ID of his had been blocked again.

"I will be damned!", he blurted out in frustration.

Rahul quickly understood what had happened in the split few seconds. He knew his friend too well. He decided to divert the topic.

"Hey what happened to Akansha? You two had been together last month too?"

"We are just friends. Still friends. That's all. A man and a woman can be friends,. right? Why do I need to explain every time? At least you should understand!"

"Umm yeah. Of course."

"Hey! I didn't mean it like that."

"No, it's okay. I know who I am. You are fine buddy. It's just that I feel terrible seeing you suffocating every passing day. Seems like you do not know where you can go from here. You are so bloody stuck, buddy!"

"I know. And let me try to contact her as you said. Whatsapp her contact to me please. I'll give her a call."

"Perfect! See, communication is the key. Keep it flowing. You have no idea how many millions of relationships today get doomed only because of lack of communication."

"I know bud. I will."

"Oh my god! Shoot! Already 6 pm. I gotta go."

"Cya!"

As Rahul left, Sanjay looked at the WhatsApp message with Sanjana's contact details. He saved it. There was her photo as well. Seemed to be a recent photo. He couldn't help but stare at it for minutes as so many memories suddenly hit him like waves of the Bay of Bengal.

Did he still love her? He was not sure...

A Bengali band song was playing close by.

"চেনা মুখ, ছুঁয়ে থাকা দৃষ্টি, এলো মেলো আড্ডা চায়ের গেলাস, ঘুম ঘুম ক্লাসরুম, পাশে খোলা জানলা, ডাকছে আমাকে তোমার আকাশ। নীল নির্বাসন।"

(A known face, a touching stare.. a random gossip, a cup of tea, sleepy in the classroom, looking at the vast sky through the open window.. your sky... inviting me to get lost in your blue oblivion...)