Day 2

Dear Diary,

Here I am again, talking to you...

So after my mother threw the bomb of searching matches for me, I felt like a crippled soldier. I wanted to save my 8 months relation at the same time use it as a shield. The dilemma of choosing what to do kept me silent and my mother went on narrating about her hectic adventure of searching guys for me.

I don't know from where so many relatives took birth and are concerned about my marriage, and the weirdest part is why is my mother giving them this privilege. Before she could narrate some more I interrupted her saying, "I'm not interested in marrying a guy from our caste..." There was silence in the room, though it was awkward I let it wrap the environment, my words reverberated as if my mom wanted to hear it again and again to digest it.

"Why?" was all she could manage

And before I could conjure an answer the door bell rang announcing my dad's arrival.

As a humanity student I have indulged in so many discussions about female' right to talk and freedom to express their views but today everything felt mundane.

I don't know whether the pain in my heart was because my mom was in pain or the guilt of hypocrisy had taken over me.

"What is wrong with the guys in our community?" she hushed. I stared at her with a blank mind that reflected on my face.

"Think about it, we will discuss it later" she quickly finished her statement as my sister opened the door to welcome my dad. His arrival may have lightened the environment at home but the storm inside me had just taken birth.

I wonder what's going to happen tomorrow when my mom follows up on the question. Will I gather the courage to tell her the truth... should I reveal the truth? I will get back to you soon with other set of my ramblings...

Yours,

Buddy