A Story of A LONESOME Heart
A Story of A LONESOME Heart
It has been two years. It was evening time when we met here for the last time and she promised me to come back. I always come to this bus stop not to go anywhere, but to find her. I sat daily on this particular bench near the mango tree. I just love this place to sit alone because here my heart meets her heart.
Every halt of a bus gives me hope of her step down. Every evening my wait ends with in vain. It has turned into a cry for the moon. Still waiting here I love to bring back her sweet memories into my thoughts. And memories may be sweet or sour, they finally wet your cheeks. We can't be strong all the time. Sometimes we need to be alone and let our tears out. And waiting here often ends in tears.
By the way, now this solitary has become a part of my life and this bus stop has become my favourite place to spend my times of aloneness. Sitting alone there I couldn't find her, but I found a friend of my loneliness. A friend of my gloomy weather.
Four days ago like every evening, I sat in that bus stop. It was around 7:00 pm. I was lost in the memories of my love Poonam. I was enjoying the passing gentle breeze, the twinkling little stars in the dark sky and a sad song from my smartphone. It's the best feeling ever in the world. I sat like a lone wolf and waited for her to get down from the bus.
Then suddenly a bus stops and some passengers got down and chattered in a high voice. My eyes fell on them and got distracted from past memories. And meanwhile, my eyes fell on some independently flying fireflies. They turned their light on and off and tried to light up the dark evening with their tiny lamps.
Those fireflies were flying quite freely as if they had invented the meaning of life and known how to live. Every blink of a firefly's light said that you should lighten your own world. I have spent many childhood summer evening chasing them. I kept them in a jar when I caught them and later let them go all at a time. It looked like the flying of stars in the dark sky. Have you caught a firefly in your childhood? Wasn't it amazing? I often miss those days.
So many fireflies were flying there in that dark evening, but my eyes went towards an alone flying firefly that was flying through that mango tree near to my bench. As if it was flying alone like me and was searching for someone eagerly, but couldn't find.
Meantime when it was flying through the stems of the mango tree, it was trapped in a spider web suddenly. It tried it's best to come out of the web, but couldn't. Seeing this the deadly spider came closer and closer to make the firefly it's dinner. As the horrible and hungry spider was coming close, the helpless firefly was crying for mercy.
And my heart was throbbing in the thought that how I can save its life. So I picked up a stone and doing no late threw it to the spider web. The stone went and hit the web and the firefly fell on the ground near to my foot. But it couldn't fly as the spider's thread had fastened around its wings. So without delay, I picked up the firefly and removed the fastening thread from its wings. And then it flew freely.
It kept on and on it's flying incessantly around me as if it was its first flight. It was showing it's happiness of survival from sure death. Then after flying sometimes independently, the firefly came to me and sat on my shoulder. I sat still. It sat for a long time until I had sat there. It didn't fly and shared my aloneness of that evening as my close friend. It showed me it's indebtedness. It thanked me for saving its life.
Meanwhile, I again went back to my past thoughts and lost myself in searching for her. It's a suspense why she left me and she didn't return. I think everyone has a suspense that he or she can't solve. Whole life passes by, but the suspense becomes more and more complicated. But it has no solution. Have you any suspense? Maybe. Everyone has.
In searching for her the only thing that I have got is the recollection of moments that we spent together which make it more complicated. And another result that I have found is only tears and tears of heartbroken.
Now it was the time to go back home. It was around 9:00 pm. I stood up from the bench with a heavy heart. Suddenly my eyes dropped a drop of tear on my palm. Then another drop fell on my lips. But before falling of another drop, the firefly flew and sat on my cheek and tried to stop it. But how these tears could be stopped. Then I took the firefly in my palms and said to it, " Don't fall in love ."
Then the firefly kept on flying around me as if it was trying to make me understand that not to cry and to give a smile. And yes I smiled. Sometimes you have to smile to hide your pain. It's amazing what a smile can hide.
That evening I made the firefly my friend of aloneness. I found a best friend to accompany me. A friend of my gloomy weather.
Then it flew and vanished among the other fireflies. And I came back to my home which was around 100 metres away from the bus stop.
The very next evening I went to the bus stop to wait for her coming. Like every evening it was full of aloneness. I needed a friend to get rid of from sadness. So I tried to find my best friend, the firefly. My eyes fell on the flying fireflies, but I couldn't recognise which one of them was my best friend. And also the firefly didn't come to me in that evening. Also for the next two evenings neither I found the firefly nor it came.
The fourth day. It was a late night, around 1:00 am, but I didn't sleep. Like every night as a lone wolf, I was awoken because sleep didn't come to my eyes and I was in the thoughts of her.
Every night she comes into my sleep and awakens me and then does not let me sleep the whole night. Again and again, I try to sleep but in vain. I try to forget her, but this makes her more memorable. I always think of thousands of whys, ifs and hows. I see her even when I fall asleep. I toss side to side. I stare at the empty side of my bed and wonder about all the things I would tell you if you were laying next to me. And then night comes to an end, but I can not find you. And my morning is not ever a good morning because how the morning will be good instead of bad if the night is such a disaster.
So like every night I hadn't slept. I sat on a chair at the window of my room and was looking to the crescent moon through the curtain. I was thinking about her.
Meantime, suddenly a firefly came into my room through the window and kept on flying and finally came to me and sat on my cheek. And like that evening it tried to stop my tears and then I understood that it was not any other firefly. It was my best friend. The friend of my aloneness. It didn't forget me.
And then we sat together for a long hour. We shared each other's happiness and sadness. But when it flew, I couldn't know because when I awoke it was another bad morning full with disaster just like the days gone by and it was the time to get back to work.
Last night the firefly also came when I was loony for her and was feeling lonesome without her. We sat together.
And I told the firefly...
Ask to the murky night,
it will tell about the solitude.
Ask to the dumbly laying path,
it will tell about the taciturnity.
Ask to the blowing gentle breeze,
it will tell about the mild heart.
Ask to the bright sun,
it will tell about the pain of eclipse.
Ask to the flowing river,
it will tell about the austerity of being no water.
And ask to the lovelorn lover,
he will tell about THE STORY OF LONESOME HEART.