Zero

What is the point of it all?

When a zero means nothing at all.

An absence, A lack of presence, A void.

Zero’s meaning in itself is devoid.

But why did it hurt when it appeared as my marks?

Why did it become an indicator, A blip to show how i’m not ‘that’ smart.

I was mocked, scolded and taught to pull through.

Avoid zero like a plague, was the only truth. 

To me the zero is dreadful.

Reminder to a 

Painful, Regretful, Resentful past. 

Years spent on avoiding the plague.

I wonder where my self esteem would be,

If they ever taught me how to learn from mistakes. 

 

No matter how much i despise it.

No matter how dumb i am,

Zero meant trauma, it assured me that ‘i can’t’

But

It meant everything to my suffering aunt.

 

An ailment scorched her perfect life.

Cancer, her hereditary plight.

The plunge into darkness,

Was painful to witness.

She cried, cursed, prayed and believed.

She tried giving up but failed.

She withstood and prevailed.

Zero cancer cells were all that remained. 

 

What is the point of it all?

Does the zero really mean nothing at all?

 

It cursed the life of a dear friend.

He chased the number of zeros at his salary’s end.

Zero days for himself, He was paranoid.

Now only his voice echoes,

In his penthouse that resembles a void.

It brought joy to my struggling dad.

Zero debt, No interest, No cost EMI’s

He tried his best, to quieten my cries.

He afforded the luxuries all my friends had.

The only thing he couldn’t afford.

Was to see me sad.

To me the zero was dreadful.

A reminder to my scar-ridden heart.

A number that keeps things apart.

Like negatives and positives on a number line chart.

 

What is the point of it all?

I am really confused. I’m not that smart.

Maybe 

There is a point to it all.

Zero means something.

Maybe its unique to one and all.