Written At 2:19am

Why I have a part in myself that constantly tells me that my heart's dropping and I won't be able to heal,

With every breath i take there's an unexplained tsunami of trauma in my stomach?

Why everytime I think I'm fine the shivering of my legs tells me I'm not,

Why everytime I'm alone i overthink even about the time when I laughed over silly jokes.

Why do I think that I'm the only one who's suffering , why do my palm freezes and veins ache when I'm lying on my bed in the darkness at night,

Why it's so calm with no human sound surrounding me as if I'm the anarkali with the invisible walls.

Why I'm so terrified of shopping that my sympathetic nervous system switches on?

Why I think that over sleeping will solve everything cause dreams seen with closed eyes will vanish with the passing day?

Am I too bad to people or too friendly, too oversharing or too introverted, too bold or too brittle,too body dysmorphic or too self obsessed, a circle or an hour glass ,too sentimental or too cold, too hypocrite or too straight forward, too solved or too confused ,too patient or too restless,too wicked or too soft hearted, too forg

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iving or too stone hearted,a listener or a speaker, a winged liner or no liner?

Wai-wai-wai-wait Nabiha, STOP, calm down, relax , breath in 1 2 3 4 breath out 1 2 3 4 5

Feeling well now?

No.

How do I tell you ?For once my heart can beat slow ,my breathing could be normal but the the patches of dried tears and dark circles on my face tells me you can't be good. The personal space we need sometimes have become my unwelcomed best friend that I need 24×7.

I tell myself Nabiha let's dress up you'll feel good but just think about that jeans that doesn't fit you anymore ,okay so, let's eat something that you like ,no no no so many calories, then let's go and meet friends no no no now I'm afraid of people.

The happy faces we see are too deceptive nowadays.

With every passing day people are passing too may be some physically but majority emotionally. The numbing of emotions, the anxiety ,depression often leaves you with a void that's almost impossible too fill.

Is there a cure? Yes

Do you want to be cured? I don't know

Let's try together. okay

-Written by someone with shivering hands.