War with Tears

Why am I crying right now? 

Why is my soul trying to sing tunes that my mind fails to interpret? 

As my heart sinks in deep melancholy, my mind remains perplexed. 

My heart yearns to break down for once and all.

 As much as I want to break ties with all these chains and finally retire, I know I started this game. 

We were laughing and joking while sinking into tears deep inside. 

Either oversharing or over-pretending. 

I’ve done it all wrong in search of someone or something to put me at ease. 

It’s time that taught me that I am the solution to my questions. 

I know why I am crying right now. 

My tears are emotional outbursts but mockery for those I believe are close to my heart.