Sorry

Under the wrecking weight

Of a million do's and don'ts

I couldn't get out of this state

And I did what I promised I won't

 

Like the stab of a thousand knives

Was the pain in my head

To be happy, felt like a strife

These things, my heart never said.

 

“What could I have done?”

You keep endlessly thinking

You could have done none

Because I was already sinking

 

I know, you feel empty

All joy poured, drained, out

Your heartaches with guilty

Guilty you could not hear my shouts

 

And you can't sleep

Without perennial scenarios and sobs

Your thoughts in deep

You feel chased by the question mob

 

But please understand

It was never your blunder

So don't take the blame

I am the one who surrendered

 

Fake was my silly smile

Unheard was my equivocal voice

I thought life wasn't worthwhile

I thought I had no choice

 

I just wanted to disappear

I wanted no more to hear

And in this, I did not see

Who could have cared for me

 

I need for you to forget

You need to feed your thoughts 

That we had never met

Just a distant mere memory of a nobody 

 

I know you feel enraged

About what I did, only for me

What is now done, I cannot change

But I really am sorry

-I am so desperately sorry 

But I don't want to see you here anytime soon

Live your life the way I never could. 

Be happy for me and on my behalf too. 

Yes I am sorry 

But perhaps we will meet on nights that are starry..