Role Model

 He left!

He said sorry and he just left,

Didn’t he think that I would want it?

More of an explanation than a sorry.

 

He was my role model,

I wanted to be exactly like him,

With that carefree attitude

And the confidence to do what I wanted

 

But his attitude died down.

When he was forced into a marriage

That he didn't want.

His marriage changed him,

Into someone, I didn’t even know

 

But I still kept hope

That we would still be the way we were

And not be affected by what happened

 

But we were,

He was torn apart into two people,

The person I wanted him to be and he wanted to be

And the person the family was forcing him to be

He didn't give in like others though,

He fought back.

 

Finally after 10 years

Of his toxic marriage.

He got a divorce.

Wanting things to go back to the way they were,

I was rejoiced.

 

It didn’t last though, because

He was blacklisted,

From the family.

Never to be spoken of and to again

Never to be mentioned

Never to be like

 

I was a little girl when this happened,

Still struggling,

How to cope,

How to get back with my life,

How to forget a big part of my life in an instant

 

All I want now

Is one moment with him,

One minute, to tell him I want to be just like him

I want to be who I am and not who anyone else wants me to be

 

After a while,

I made my peace with it

But every time,

I stare at the books he bought me

I would remember his smiling face

And his carefree attitude

 

I would remember the little things that he did

How to him money was to be spent on family

How no one comes before his family

How nothing can change who you are

 

It was like he was dead.

At times I said to myself that he was dead,

At least to my family he was.

It was easier to forget about all the bad times

If he was just dead

And not there out in the world

If I am not allowed to talk to him

 

But I will never forget him

Or any of the things we have done together

He will always be my only role model

And my favorite uncle

 

I used to think to get through life,

Was the hardest challenge but

Now I know that the hardest thing is,

Getting through the challenges

That life gives us.