Piety Intruded

I have been listening to voices day and night

Voices that make me creep back into my bed,

Voices cornering me in my own toilet,

Voices... calling out my name...

"Sweety, where are you? Uncle's gonna find you!"

"Sweety, come here! I have brought chocolates for you!"

"Come on, stop playing with us! We are family, uncle and your brothers..."

Yes, voices, adorable once, not anymore!

I was warned once if I would open up

I would have to see the worst days of my life!

I couldn't realize, trust me, I didn't!

To begin with, whatever he did, Uncle!

He gently unbuttoned my shirt that day...

On the thanksgiving day perhaps... these days my memory

It... it has turned numb you know.

I was happily feeding on the chocolate he gave me

Until something strong pierced through me.

Oh! That pain... it... it has so irritating!

The lap on which I was sitting that evening

Was seeming to be the oven in which Mommy had cooked the turkey!

I wouldn't describe how horrible it felt

On that evening when my brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces,

Busy with my toys and dresses, overlooked how I was being lulled with my weakness.

Chocolates, I hate them today!

And the lap, where I sat year after year

Playing, eating, tickling...

Became a nightmare, a bad dream

That I had to live day after day.

Would you believe if I would say?

He was my favourite uncle in the family!

He took me from the daycare, gifted me toys

Only to toy me someday for his pleasures.

I was no more God's grace, left to rot in a hell

And a tape was shut on my frail lips

I looked at the mirror only to find my lips say,

"If you ever tell anyone, you know what you'll face."

No, No! I shut my ears, hide myself

In a dark corner of a wardrobe, my crooked self!

Being a beast is not easily accepted, right?

That's what Mum said while singing a lullaby!!

I once swore to myself, I won't tell anyone

But the agony to tear, tear apart overwhelms

My quivering lips, my tiny hands...

But I swore I won't let this open to any

For I know what would the consequences be.

Yet they would find me soon...

Uncle would chase me whenever I was alone.

Father was never home that I could hug him and say,

"Help me Dad! I am scared to death!"

Mum had noticed the changes in myself

But she never believed whatever I said.

I would hide underneath the staircases,

At times in the loft, at times in dad's bed

But I was caught, and beat if I yelled,

Or cried, there's still a mark on my back

When he burnt my skin with two cigarettes.

That night mum finally noticed me bleeding,

But said, "God! You're growing with a maddening pace!"

Negligence, negligence, until my sister found

How my uncle brought new friends

And chased me round the house, made my hymen ache.

In an underdeveloped language, she tried to state

About the medical tape that I wore often on my face...

Alas! She was soon to be victimized

If I would not have stopped shouting and crying.

I saw the one whom I loved, everyday

Turn into a beast from those dreams, on my bed.

You know, I don't even know if Mommy ever realized

What I was going through;

Last night, Dad and Mum fought too bad

She said she wanted a divorce and left.

Dad searched for her, all through the night

And returned, pale and empty-handed.

I knew the reason Mum was being so indifferent!

She was doing something not good with that uncle.

Few days back, in the kitchen after he was done with me

He took turns on my mother, called her a "Baby!"

Perhaps, mum would never realize.

She left the house, last month, at night.

Dad drinks these days comes home late often.

We are left with a babysitter who is tooe callous to handle my beautiful sister.

Oh, yes! Did I forget?

That uncle made his sons take turns

On me, to try out how it felt

To enter into the mysteries of an about-to-be woman.

Well, now, he comes whenever the governess is absent...

These days (I bleed less, but the pain is persistent.

He relishes me like the wild lions relish their meat.)

He doesn't even stop abusing me in open!

The fear still clutches my voice, that would fail

Fear of that voice, for my sister, echoes "If I would tell..."