Miss Overthinker

I think I am a liar because I have blames that unexpected but still

Or maybe things just aren’t what they seem to be.

I think that if you knew what it was like to be me, you too wouldn’t speak your mind so freely.

I think I am a coward.

Always running away from things I know are worth fighting for, turning a blind eye to all the red flags because I know, that if I see things the way that they are, nothing in me or outside, would get a chance to survive.

I think I am unworthy.

And that is why, I never stand up or confront you for what I think is right, always shying away from a fight, I lock myself and my choices up, is that what it means to be a grown-up?

I think I am afraid.

Of losing everything, things that weren’t even mine, to begin with. Of being so lost, that I am left here flapping my arms, in knee-deep water, drowning, because I can’t reach the bottom.

But most of all I think I am a liar.

Because that’s what you think of me. Because you think I have everything. You don’t see the doubts I have within. The fear, that needs to desperately fit in.

And that’s why, on days like this, I’m all of these.