Lost

Winters came home,

Still the broken stage,

I trynna calm with that messy self,

Waiting and waiting,

But nobody's ever noticed me,

I guess that's the karma,

All the ways;

I hear in her voice,

That she loves me in struggle,

So I touch that picture as if love's real,

I didn't choose this life,

And I always dreamt of running away,

But still, there's something that makes me stop,

All the ways;

From melancholic drapetomania to regardless sacrifices,

I waited ages just so you could praise me once,

Then I search for that one person,

Just to learn that I was always wrong and never right,

I have lost it again,

As its always my fault?

I see the others,

So happy leaving under blue roses,

Acting like nothing happened,

Somebody lost in,

Writing in this room,

As I play that song, crying in silence;

I lose it again,

The things weren't funny as I say in a hurry,

Nobody's ever understood me and I don't know how to help me,

I looked around with my lonely self,

Hating the unwanted words that can't be taken back,

Cuz there were moments I wanted to do it all,

And it is just words that take it all,

Making the same mistakes,

I'm losing it all,

Maybe that's the reason I hate myself,

As I have lost it again,

As its always my fault?