I'm Fine

I used to love

Who I was,

Didn't give a fuck what people think

I was that happy child

With a bunch of amazing friends

I did sport a lot

But just did it for fun

By playing ball I met my friends

That’s all that mattered back then

My friends were skinny, I was not.

Within time, It started to bother

I wanted to be like they were

A goal I would've never reached, for sure

Cause I will never see me

Like I saw them these days

They did stuff that I couldn't

Just cause of my weight

I started to struggle more and more

Felt something I've never felt before

I felt bad for being me,

It wasn't the turn of the century

Just the turn of my thoughts

But for me, my life had changed a lot.

I felt like a misfit

That I don't belong in here

My confidence shrunk

I wanted to disappear

I made the choice to change my life

People complimented once I started losing weight.

Was it attention grabbing or just a way to survive?

They really started loving me with every pound I lost

But how I got rid of this shit no one bothered.

That I skipped meals for days and weeks, crying myself to sleep and praying for some better days for me.

That I couldn't eat even if I wanted to, that my stomach cramped with every calorie it got.

Full of emotions and empty at the same time, trying to convince myself well yeah

- I'm fine

That's what I wanted to be like, right ?