I Am Not Second

It's a funny thing how the universe has the freedom to expand, expand, expand

But we shrink shrivel and we are breathed into the abyss

It's a war to breathe ourselves out

I've known all kinds of things my heart does

When I glimpse at you

The poor thing beats a different beat

Dances to a song I can't hear

Plays hopscotch

Tails after a sheep jumping over a fence

Summons a hurricane

Blows the seas

Crashes the boats to the lighthouse

It's funny when I say you leave me speechless

And yet I find all these words raining

Out of me

No metaphor

No irony here

It's just a big stage

You and I are supposed to be throwing out

Dialogues like I'm about to eat the poison apple

And you are going to jump off a cliff for me

Cause nobody wants to see us falling in love

So we choose to free fall out of love

But this show is not ours

Not when I am not the protagonist

Like you are mine

We can't rehearse our speech

And pull out the greatest performance

When the audience doesn't put their hands together for love as we carry

I carry but they don't know that you don't love me

Keep silent

They don't have to know

Let me keep looking at y

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ou and seek for the sun to rise up from your shoulders

Let them see how you brighten my life

It's funny when I think over and over

And it's not just my mind wandering now 

My hands are all over the wounds inside me

Trying to reach the exact spot where I'm hurting

I ask myself where I'm hurting

The battle I lost a long time ago is reminiscent as I'm stalling and you are rowing

like river

I'm thunder I bring the water out of the sky's breast

And you are rowing like the river

It takes me back to the stage where we're once again actors but I'm not standing

beside you

I'm with the audience

Cloaked in the blackness

While you hit the limelight

But there's someone next to you

She doesn't look like she'd eat the poisoned apple

And you look like you don't mind it

It's all temporary 

You say that

You repeat it 

It's all temporary 

And I think

The universe is expanding

Then why shouldn't we too

If you have reasons to call one after the other as firsts

Why should I pound at my heart

That poor thing

And call me second lead

The abyss can suck me in

But I'm a celestial object

Darling, I light my way.