How do I?

How do I carry scars like my manners,

Blend them in myself, like it was meant to be.

Feel so vulnerable in times I shouldn't,

Yet stay brave when I cannot be.

How do I not respond,

And still cannot keep a face, naturally numb?

How could I smile, when I can feel my heart burn?

How do the wounds I carry, ever dry away?

When the world never ceases to make it afresh,

Hit it twice each day.

How do I show, yet not showoff,

How do I express, yet not exaggerate,

Tell the world, that all they have done,

That made me rummage into my very self,

To find the cures that made me Ill.

How do I not dream, and experiment,

Why shouldn't I go out of Line?

Why should I carry my scars like my manners,

When I can fight?

This very thought keeps me going, 

Striking back isn't winning,

I know for sure, I wouldn't do the same,

I will win that day, when all those around will shall have a safer place to bleed.